blog ; http://romanticfawn.blogspot.com/
lookbook ; lookbook.nu/romanticfawn
instagram ; instagram.com/elainejungxo
Not doing sponsored sets anymore for a long time, maybe I will do them again in the future but I feel like it kinda ruins the purpose of Polyvore, also I feel like it stresses me out because I get the notion that I NEED to make something instead of WANTING to.
Woah man... I'm just publishing a draft from a long time ago but wow this set is really different from the way I dress now. Even the way I dress on my blog seems sort of different from how I actually want to dress. I'm slowly changing my style a bit more and more. I mean you can't dress a the same way for the rest of your life. I can't wait to actually show you how I wanna dress now, but I kinda need money first so I'm waiting for my paycheck.
So I don't know if I told you but recently for the past month & a half I have been cutting my own hair and it's actually been coming out really good. It's just my bangs and stuff and it's really cool because they would come out just the way I wanted them to be. I've been doing this every week because my bangs grow out way too fast and now let me tell you a thing, I messed up yesterday and literally after that I basically said "fvck it" and started chopping off random parts and watched a lot of my hair fall to the floor and I felt amazing and free. But really, fvck it, it's going to grow back in a week?? My moment of freedom will last for a week, I don't know if I'll do the random hair cutting again because I need to take blog pictures next week and I need to look pretty for that.
But I don't know man, I realized recently how I really don't like fashion as much as I used to. I mean yes it's a great way to express yourself and the perks are fun but I came to an epiphany that it's SO SHALLOW. I realized my eating disorder developed mostly because I was influenced by this glamorous world where it only counts if you look good. Like really, if you /REALLY/ think about it that's basically what it's all about. I dislike that.
I really just want to be free, for real. Maybe I won't even do blogging in the future, who knows. I'm really in such a "FVCK IT!!" mood. I want to test things out, reinvent myself every few months, cut my hair and dye it A BUNCH of times, piss people off with my looks, my art, my music; not care at all what people think of me. The sad part is that it's easier to just talk about it, but actually doing it will be harder because I CONSTANTLY care about what people think of me. It sucks a/s/s/. I want to do whatever and not care.
That aside, happy International MCR Day. (It's a legit thing) In celebration I LITERALLY MADE A BLACK PARADE JACKET AND DYED THE FABRIC AND SEWED THE BUTTONS AND EVERYTHING and I am so fvcking proud. I wore it to art school today with a bada/s/s all black outfit and dark makeup and my fvcked up hair. I felt undefeatable in a way, sort of how Gerard describes it, himself. No one understood the reference to the way I dressed but I really didn't even care because I was really proud of my self made outfit. Anyway, I'll probably have a picture of that on my personal instagram.
Oh and I forgot to tell you I also learned Teenagers on guitar??? It was actually the first tabbed song I learned, I can't believe I forgot that one. The solo is actually really easy on that, too. I also learned the intro to Bulletproof Love but acoustic guitars create so many limitations to tabs. It kinda sucks.
And god, fvcking hell I think something REALLY GOOD AND EXCITING might happen to me in a few weeks. I really hope it works out. I really, really need this so bad. I won't talk about it yet because I really want it to happen first.
Anyway, have a good weekend people, I'm going off to camp soon.