"Think its make believe, so you hate the shit"

she said | mac miller
 
layout credit, @etchasketchinlola
 

 
Okay I’m so sorry I’ve been gone so much, but school is starting and when school starts I’m super scheduled so I can guarantee being on at least once a week. The last story (which is really bad, sorry about that) is up if you want to read it:
@ohofkors @nifty-nikki @piratevampiresuperjoyce @alycat @cestlula @elizabeth-kate @sky-rocketer
 
Ella Delaney
CDAN – July 29, 2012
 
After a day of relaxation and doing absolutely nothing, it was time to get back to work. The fall premiere of The Bay was coming closer and closer which meant more promo work and interviews. I was excited to the say least.
 
The Bay had been apart of my life for three years so every year I got a chance to come back again was a blessing.
 
That’s why when I got a call from Nina, my manager, that we had a shoot today for the new billboards and a meeting to talk about some new business prospects, I was too excited.
 
I woke up early that morning to get in a couple of hours of blissful surfing and was surprised to see Teddy setting down what looked like a breakfast feast on the kitchen island.
 
“What’s all this?” I asked, toweling off my hair and trying to subdue my growling stomach.
 
He gestured to the food and the empty stool for me to sit. “This, my dear, is some breakfast to get your day started off right before your meeting and shoot.”
 
Really, I tried to not to smile but it was impossible. Ever since the disastrous Kansas trip, it was like I had my old Teddy back. He was attentive and caring, and for the first time in a while, it didn’t feel like he was doing it just for show.
 
It was like he was doing it because he wanted to see me happy.
 
How sad was it that I didn’t even expect my own husband to do things that would make me happy?
 
I nodded, sitting down slowly while I watched him pile food onto my plate. We had a normal conversion about work and how the surf was that morning, even sharing a laugh over a corny joke he told.
 
Just as I was explaining the shoot to him, his phone rang interrupting me. He glanced at the screen quickly before looking away with a visibly paler face.
 
“You okay?”
 
“Yeah fine, I just have to go. I’ve stayed here wasting time long enough.” I physically flinched away from his suddenly harsh words.
 
The next second his was out of the house without so much as a word to me. I tried not to let it bother me as I threw on some clothes and made my way to the shoot.
 
It was a solo billboard for my main character so the hair and makeup crew took their time with me as Nina and I caught up.
 
“So we’ve got today’s shoot, Olly’s birthday tomorrow, and then we’ve got a couple of wardrobe consultations for the show lined up.”
 
I nodded, staring at my half made up face in the mirror. “I heard they we looking for a new costume designer, do we have anyone good?”
 
“They’re trying to get some new up and coming people so no one you’d actually recognize by name, I can email you their portfolio’s to check out some of their work.”
 
With one last swipe of lip gloss I was sent to wardrobe. “That’d be cool, though I’m more concerned with the promos. I heard we haven’t been confirmed on Ellen yet?”
 
“No but that’s my concern, you just need to get over there and be pretty.”
 
Stepping out from the dressing area I stuck out my tongue at her but did as I was told. The show was going on its sixth season and the direction was decidedly more sexy so I found myself posing more like Millie or Cat would – it definitely didn’t feel like me.
 
For the first time in my career I couldn’t wait for a photo shoot to wrap. And when it finally it I was more than happy to go to lunch with Nina for a quick meeting.
 
As soon as we sat down for some sushi, Nina started drilling me with questions.
 
“So how’s the asshat, you guys still acting all lovey dovey?”
 
I rolled my eyes. “Yes we’re working things out, though today he completely flipped on me. He made me this big breakfast, we’re having a good conversation and then all of a sudden he tells me he’s wasting his time.”
 
I could see her eyebrows arch all the way past her hairline.
 
“What?”
 
“What do you mean what?” Nina asked, feigning innocence. “If you don’t see what’s going on then there’s nothing more to say.”
 
I started to argue back, but she held up her hand to silence me.
 
“Let’s get back to business; I have some auditions lined up for you that we need to go over.”
 
And with that the topic of Teddy and his bipolar behavior was closed in favor of talk about auditions and events.
 
I got home relatively early that day and decided to start leaning lines for my upcoming auditions. Just as I finished with my third packet, I heard the front door slam open.
 
“Teddy?” He made his way into the living room, stumbling, and even if I hadn’t seen his sloppy appearance, I could smell the alcohol off of him.
 
“What the f.ck are you doing home?”
 
I flinched back. “What do you mean idiot, I live here!”
 
He looked momentarily confused before stumbling away, mumbling to himself.
 
And as much as I didn’t want to, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes for the millionth time.