That's a first. For a while.
For PTS, I had to make a pink set with the bunny picture and the picture of Sierra (I think) in the top left corner.
My parents are laughing at Last Man Standing. The new show on TBS with Tim Allen. I used to watch Home Improvement all the time with my dad. Tim Allen was and still is hilarious.
I know they want me down there.
I have to do my homework, though.
But even if I didn't, I don't know... do they really want me there?
I feel so guilty for not being there, but at the same time, I feel out of place when I'm there. Like I don't belong.
All that dramatic writing in RHTF is getting to me.
I read @hiroki's notes on her set, and now I want to type like her.
But I can't.
Because I'm too much of a spelling and grammar freak.
In the morning today, I got to school earlier than usual and went to my locker, then up to see Matt. We kind of talked, a little, but I can feel it getting awkward between us. I don't know about him, but the me-liking-him part is getting less awkward for me. Besides, I'm more focused on Brendon now (okay, hopefully, that's how you spell his name. Sheesh, how many variations are there?!).
This is something that I've known since the first day I met him. Matt, I mean. We met on our Canada field trip, and he was the only one in my group that seemed decent because I hated the others in my group. Well, we were talking a lot that day, but on my part, it was really forced, you know? It's not that I didn't enjoy his company-I really did-but conversation, for me, wasn't flowed. Not like it is with the friends I know are going to last. And we both thought that we wouldn't be friends past that day. But we were. Still are. Things have always been forced, though. We don't have anything in common. Rachel even said that when I told her that I liked him. I feel awful. There are just some people that you can't ever be flowed and easy with, though...
Well, I was talking to him, and Andy and Stephen came up. Then Clarice. I swear, Clarice and Andy like each other, but I'm trying not to bug them about it. And then I felt someone hug me really hard from behind. Miranda.
Truth be told, by then, I just really wanted to leave from their little group because I felt like I didn't really know anything, but I stayed out of politeness. So I was really glad with Miranda took me away. But she had to do her history homework. No biggie. We're used to each other doing rush homework in the morning. I was talking with her when Caitlyn and Britney came up. They're more of Miranda's friends than mine, but they're cool, you know? So we all start talking and then, Matt, Andy, and Clarice find me, along with Julia. Ugh.
Well, ugh to Julia, that is. I can only take so much of that annoying blonde.
I know that they came for me, not Miranda or anyone else. And we all just start talking. Or rather, Julia starts talking to Matt and Andy, Clarice starts talking to Caitlyn, and then it's just me and Miranda, left out. She was doing her homework, of course, but I sat down with her and said, "Hey, I guess it's just us again, huh?"
Of course. It always was. Matt and his group occasionally joined me when I was with Miranda and her group, and the previous times, I felt really... liked. Like I had a lot of friends. This time, it made me feel lonelier because I wasn't even involved in anything they were saying. I don't know why it was this particular moment. It could've happened before.
So why now?
Anyways, we all had to go to homeroom. And this kid, Sean (whom I think is kind of cute) was wearing this really bright pink sweater and I'm like, "Hey, Sean, what's with the sweater? I swear, that thing is glow-in-the-dark. Pepto Bismol is so not your color," and he just laughed. It was for breast cancer awareness month.
In gym, when we had warmups, I ran/skipped with Ezea and Nick, as usual. And as always, I was left out of whatever they were talking about. I'm like a fucking tagalong with them.
Unfortunately, Ezea happens to be my only friend in gym.
And then I had study hall.
And then midmorning. I went up to see Matt at his locker, like usual, and we made some awkward small talk. And then I went to find Miranda. And we walked around J and K wings, as we always do. She's the one person that I feel that I always belong with, you know? And then we go our separate ways-her to English, me to French.
I got in there. Brendon was there already, and we just started doing our exercises. Meanwhile, this kid, Jake, starts messing around, as always. Most of the kids in our class think this is funny. I just think he's a jerk and that he's an idiot. And then Brendon says one of the most amazing things ever.
"He is so immature! He really needs to grow up."
And I could've hugged him for that. But I didn't, because we were sitting in our desks, and that would've been weird. But HOLY CRAP A MATURE BOY WHO DOESN'T THINK THAT WHAT JAKE IS DOING IS FUNNY.
Instead of hugging, I said, "You should see what he does on my afternoon bus. It's ridiculous. I completely agree with you."
And we keep writing. He asks me a few times for help in French. And otherwise, that was it. But I'M SO HAPPY OKAY?!
I was the last to math class, and we had a test, which I'm sure I aced.
In biology, we had a quiz that I forgot about and barely knew anything on. But I got a 100 anyways, from Derek, who graded my paper. The paper I was grading got a 16/26, which was a D. Haha to Kara. I don't like her much at all.
And I went to lunch. I forgot my lunch money, but due to Rachel's never ending hospitality, she gave me her Nutella sandwich and some pieces of chocolate. I swear, I love her :D
And then I left, and saw Noah and Derek at the table where they were selling tickets. I talked to them a little bit. They're not going because both of them have a family thing :( I think I looked visibly disappointed when Derek said that. Sheesh. I hope he doesn't think that I like him or anything.
It was really early, so I didn't find Matt at his English class, and I got to bio, and talked to this kid, Tyler, who likes chick flicks. Really? He's this huge, bulky football player who watches CHICK FLICKS.
We watched a video in bio about how certain animals eat and catch their prey and it was actually really cool.
I do not like my research project in English, okay? I don't like it at all. The end.
And it was snowing today.
And I talked to Matthew and Jake on the bus. Jake gave me some chocolate and I shared some with Matthew and I tried to give him caramel, but it broke.