"Monday December 31st: It’s New Year’s Eve and Mark Brooks is inviting the whole senior class from both Constance and St-Judes. Spend the last night of 2012 partying and make sure you are standing to that special guy when the clock strikes twelve!
I took a good ooh of myself in the mirror and twirled in my dress as if I was a princess of some sort . I felt slightly foolish but it was silly. The good kind of silly. My favourite kind of silly.
My mother had bought me this dress from Paris and I was beyond in love with it.
"I saw it and thought it was a romantic piece and who do I know that is a romantic through and through. So I bought for you",she had told me when she presented the dress to me. I had the widest smile of all time plastered on my face. It was perfection.
I put my hair in a messy bun and put eyeliner on. Simple black . I always made me look my age. Without eyeliner I looked like I was perhaps 10 ?
I just look quite young like that.
I catch my father casually watching me prepare for tonight.
"Do you know that this is called stalking Papa ? ,I asked him with a grin on my face.
"I am your father ,I can ruin your life if I wanted to ",he joked.I rolled my at him.
"You look awfully pretty tonight",he said in that "tell me everything" voice he has. He was awfully nosey that man was.
"Sometimes Papa I just want to look pretty",I told him and scrambled around the room for my shoes. I swear I had picked them up from my apartment. Maybe under the bed.
"Darling you always like like a princess but today you look like an Elf",he told me.
"Where you watching Lord of the Rings earlier on today ?",I asked him.
He nodded mischievously.
"It's like you are obsessed ",I told him.
"It's just because the Hobbit is out and I want to watch it but I want to see it in French to I will have to wait till we return ",he told me.
I shook my heads at both my father and the fact that I couldn't find my shoes.
I sat down on my bed annoyed.
"What's wrong mon cherie ?",he asked me.
"Can't find my shoes. I think I left them at my apartment. Urg",I complained.
"Do you want to go and get them ?",he asked me.
"Of course but I can't really run around New York In this dress at this time of the day for a pair of heels.
My father smiled kindly.
"I believe it was your mother who told me that shoes are one of the most important things to an outfit. They made you feel invincible or something like that. I stopped listening half way through. But my point is I will drive you there",he explained.
I laughed slightly. "Are you sure ?,he said.
"Yeah it be an adventure",he said .
I giggled. "You could always just say you missed me",I said.
"Yeah but you know so I have to say it differently",he told me and kissed my forehead. Let's go and get you some magical dorothy shoes",he joked.
"This ain't Kansas anymore",I replied.
My father stopped the car right in front of my apartment building and I stormed out like I was a freaking SWAT team. My father and I tend to take things way to serious.
I greeted my Doorman and rushed to the elevator. It took his sweet little time so I decided to take the steps. I jumped over a few ,ran like a mad mad to get to my apartment. I fumbled with my keys like a crazy person and burst the doors of wide open as if I was entering some grand hall. I looked around twirling and turning ever so often by each step to my wardrobe in excitement. There they were lying on my bed ,as if they have been waiting for me to come and rescue them. I smiled slightly. I felt like Cinderella for a minute or two.
I turned and rushed out of my room. I locked the door and preceded to run down the stairs like a mad man or more mad princess . I slightly laughed between my breathlessness as I don't only look silly running and jumping at this but I felt silly . " Yana ?",someone yelled my name as I rushed through the hall to the exit. I turned around to the Elevator to see Mathias.
I smiled at him kindly. We looked at each other for a second or perhaps it was two.
I didn't say one word and just turned around as I heard the Elevator close.
I got outside and smiled at my father.
"Mission accomplished. Sir",I said proud of myself.
He winked at me .
"I love your dress Audrey "said when I greeted the group. I smiled kindly. For some reason I always cared what she thought of me. Since I had known these girls I wanted her to like me. But I have never been around much so I always worry where I stand with her or pretty much everyone but Ronnie. Her and I always kind of got on .
Elizabeth smiled at me and said "You know I think it was good for you to stay this year. I feel like this is the first time I really get to see you around",she told me. I replied kindly with a smile.
"That was my intention",I told her.
"Let's dance ",someone yelled and I laughed because dancing was something that needed to be done on things like these.
I found myself on a balcony crouching down trying to light my cigarette with the heavy wind ,i was shaken of the cold but I needed to stimulate my nicotine addiction. Finally the cigarette lit. I slowly took a drag and watch the others.
I as always felt slightly out of place because not only do I look different to the other girl,I act different on purpose. I dress different, I talk with that hoarse voice of mine in such a manner that apparently confuses people. I smoke with this face . One of my ex boyfriends once told me "I was a juxtaposition,it was interesting and exciting but he quickly tired of my pieces not fitting and because I didn't fit with myself he didn't fit with me. He was a philosophy student in Paris.
I rolled my eyes thinking of that.
The thing was I wasn't having some sort of identity issues and was confused who I was and what I wanted to do in life. I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted to do . I chose to do these things I do. I chose to look like this and I chose to smoke. I chose it for myself because I like myself that way. Boys are stupid. I don't fit in boxes. Is that such a problem?
Half way through the cigarette I spotted him.
There he was Mathias,the boy who I don't know how I quite felt about it all. Our friendship still puzzled me.
But there he was with Olivia. They were dancing and they looked really happy ,they were adorable together. I bit my lip as i felt a twinge of jealousy. Friends shouldn't feel like that. I took a deep drag of my cigarette. He twirled her around and dipped her. She had a wide smile on her face and he kissed her nose. Why was I watching tis ? I wanted to twirl in that dress of mine. I really did. The I recalled the encounter I had earlier with Mathias . That was a strange moment. I felt funny inside.
I finished my cigarette and threw it on the floor.
I did the twist on it as stomped it out. In my head I sing "Twist and Shout" by the beatles .
I walked around and caught the gaze of Mathias,he looked at me as his girlfriend kissed him. It wasn't the kind of kiss where you should be staring at anyone. It was the kind of kiss where your eyes should have been shut and her head should have been twisting around. But no there he was looking straight at me. I felt uncomfortable and uneasy. I abruptly turned around.
WHAT WAS THAT ?
"The countdown starts in like 15 minutes",Veronica informed me.
"I am thinking on heading outside towards Time square and see the spectacle there ",I Told her.
"I would come but too many people,way to busy ",she told me. I laughed slightly.
"That's fine. I should go now if I wanna get there in time ",I said and said my goodbyes.
I hurried to the exit.
As i arrived outside ,I decided it was time for the last cigarette of 2012. As I attempted to light that cigarette ,the sky suddenly decided to start pouring down.
I sighed annoyed. Great!
I just let the rain wash away all the magic surrounding my outfit for this evening when I suddenly felt a shelter establish themselves around me. I looked up to see and Umbrella and my eyes followed to see who was holding it. It was Mathias. What was he doing here?
" I smelled the rain and I know you hate umbrellas but you know at themes like these they are really handy",he said and smiled that charismatic smile of his. I tried to be all like "whatever" but I could not help but crack a smile.
"Off to time square ?",he asked me. I nodded.
"Why are you here ?",I wondered I mean he should really be up there with the rest of them enjoying his girlfriend company.
"I saw you leave and I wanted to talk to you,also rain. I don't want you to die",he said half joking.
"Thanks",I said short. I was confused. I looked at him curious. He just smiled.
" Should we go ?", he asked me .
I looked at him taken aback :but what about-",I started but he stopped me.
" That story is for some other day in the New Year. For now let's go see the fireworks ,okay",he said.
I accepted that for now and followed him as we walked down to to times square.
I brightly counted down along the countdown as my wrist was being dragged through the crowds to get a better view.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR",the yelled and we stopped.
I screamed as I experienced the euphoria around me. That's why I wanted to come because other peoples happiness results in your own. I smiled brightly at Mathias who also was waving his arms around throwing gallons and confetti at me.
We looked at each other "HAPPY NEW YEAR",we yelled on top of our lungs as we watched the fireworks.
I felt something soft,tender and innocent planted on my cheek. I turned around to find Mathias returning from the place knows as my left cheek. I looked at him surprised. He smile kindly.
"I wish you all the best for this year my dearest grumpy kitten"he said with affection. I just didn't know which one.
"To you too",I said almost on autopilot. I could feel the kiss burning into my cheek.
He looked at me and motioned at his phone "It's the girlfriend",he told em smiling. He disappeared into the crowds of people to take the call and there I was in that ocean drowning in that knowledge that it will never be .