june | 30th | saturday
title: thinking about you, frank ocean.
Thursday: To celebrate our last real day of freedom before the school is completely violated, Chanel, Emmy, Vicky, Klaire and Jayde are throwing a little get-together in the woods. Being in the Society doesn't necessarily mean they're inviting you, but its not like they'll notice if you sneak in.
@thatporcelaindoll, @high-fashionista, @istylista, @sabina-elena , @naughtynina, @cestlula, @five-hundred-days-of-penny, @volonte, @fashionfiend
I sipped a glass bottle of some flavored beer and winced, but let the taste settle first.
I was more into things like wine. Now /that/ I could get drunk off of.
"Thanks for the invite," Grace said, walking past me and urging a smile.
I smiled back, "No problem!"
Uch, she basically snatched up the dead girl's remains (aka Cason) and thought it was decent to go out in public.
"It's really nice to get out after the big news," Anise agreed. I nodded.
"Mhhmm," they were starting to bore me.
"Its really pretty what you guys have done." Renee added, gesturing to the Christmas lights streaming from the trees and the glass tables we had some loser freshman haul for us into the forest. Her eyes never left my pumps.
I sighed, and looked up in annoyance, "Thanks."
I walked away to Chanel leaving the little trio of wannabes to fiddle with themselves.
"Everyone here is so irritating," I whined to her. Chanel laughed.
"What did you think? Its not like they all went out and bought a new personality over the break." Chanel rolled her eyes, "you expect to much 'Em."
I shot her a look, but she brushed it aside as James joined us.
"If it isn't my favorite ladies." He winked and I looked away in irritation.
"James don't you have some girl to be-"
"Can I talk to you Chanel?" James asked. Suddenly it was as if he was the perfect Southern gent. Chanel blinked in confusion and I looked at the contents in my bottle with boredom.
James was almost as good as me when it came to playing silly games.
"What?" She asked.
"I'd like a word, if you don't mind." He smiled and held an arm out, Chanel took it, her face masked with annoyance. "Nice outfit Emmy, its nice to see your mid-drift finally covered up in something not nearly as bright as a rainbow." He turned Chanel away and walked her away from everyone else.
He looked over his shoulder and winked at me again and I turned away.
Something burned in the pit of my stomach, and it wasn't just the alcohol. Whenever it came to James it was like thin ice for Chanel and I. We rarely fought - but in that aspect it was a silent plea for attention from the one boy who never gave either of us the limelight.
"Hey," Beverly said, standing next to me, I tilted my head and smiled.
"Hi Bev, how are you?" I asked, scrunching my eyebrows together. She nodded.
"Fine," she coughed a bit and I touched her hand.
"The mono isn't having a repercussion, is it?" Bev turned pink.
"No, I doubt it."
"You should let Simon know, just in case." I said with sincerity, walking over to Victoria and leaving Bev dumbfounded.
This night was starting to get fun.
Victoria, Jayde, Chanel, Klaire and I scoured the floors of the forest for any remaining alcohol. Vicky teetering in her heels and Jayde talking loudly about some annoying Seniors who had appeared from nowhere and arrived at the party.
Usually we'd force someone else into cleaning up for us, but with the cops so close it wasn't safe.
I noticed a fire far off in the woods, "I'm going to go put out the work of an idiot." I declared, pulling my blazer tightly around me and walking towards it.
"And people think /she's/ nice," I heard Klaire joke. I smiled wryly to myself and made my way through the forest.
Most people thought that the forest was scary. Like it was haunted. There were so many Pepperwood stories about this place. About all the army soldiers who died here or somewhere nearby or the slaves who were beaten to death. The history of Pepperwood itself was what was haunting to me. Besides, the forest was calming in its own way.
I reached the fire and approached it, but my eyes caught something else - Landon and Juliette making out a little too intensely.
I nearly puked.
They stopped and looked up at me, Landon's face turned pink and Juliette smiled uncomfortably. I stared at them through the flickering flames, waiting for them to speak first.
"Uh...Emmy? Hi..." Juliette said, fixing her hair.
I smiled tauntingly, "Party's over, didn't you hear?" My voice was sickeningly sweet and they both turned darker shades of red.
Landon cleared his throat, "hm, well, we didn't catch that." Landon said.
I stepped closer, "Its a little disturbing isn't? The fact that you were close to doing the deed on what could possibly be Elsie Nichols' grave? Desperate aren't we..." I said lowly. People always thought I was so bloody whimsical or exciting but to be honest, what made me happiest was being a bitchh, watching my victim squirm before me in a desperate plea to find a way out.
"I'm sorry?" Juliette asked as if she hadn't quite understood me. Landon let out a deep breath and walked towards me.
"Stop Emmy." He stated, raking his hands through his hair.
"Why? I'm quite the c-ckblock, aren't I?" I smirked and he looked like he was fuming. So we broke up last May. Who was he to move on? Besides he'd always liked Jules even before we started dating, it was nearly infuriating.
"This is why we broke up." Landon muttered.
"We? Please Landon, there never was a we, you've been obsessed with that wh-re for the past year." I brushed my hair off my shoulder and looked up at Juliette who was pretending to not hear our conversation. I wanted to laugh. Everyone /but/ Landon knew she was putting up jut an act.
"I liked you though Emmy, /a lot/, but...I just...I can't deal with you right now." He said, shaking his head and grabbing Juliette's hand. "Come on Jules."
She probably got a thrill at sending a dirty look my way.
Anger filled inside of me and I let out a huff of breath, stomping the fire out. I'd probably regret it later on when my black pumps were scuffed.
The smoked spiraled from the stone circle and everything became dark.
Suddenly I felt all alone and I could practically feel the darkness surrounding my body and consuming me.
Why was I never good enough? I'd never be half as gorgeous as Juliette. She was brilliant and tall and smart, and I was just me. I'd never be anything like Chanel or Jayde. Not even Klaire or Victoria. What was I kidding myself?
I could practically see every flaw in my body and on my face.
Obviously at this point, the hyperventilation started. My chest felt like it was going to explode and my breathing was becoming shallower and shallower.
Everything became cloudy and all I wanted was to sleep. I grabbed my bag and fumbled for that orange bottle I was so familiar with. My hands shook as if there was an earthquake and I uncapped it, the pills spilling on the floor. Hot tears sprung in my eyes and I felt so alone. I wondered if this was how Elsie felt those last few minutes of her life.
"Em?!" James and Chanel were calling my name, I heard Victoria drunkenly screaming for me.
I couldn't let them find me like this. I began to panic even more, scouring the floor for those precious white pills. I felt someone grabbed my arm and I nearly shrieked.
It was Luna.
She placed a finger to her lips and pulled me through the forest towards Layton.
"Deep breaths," she said in her soft voice, which had been made raspy by all those cigarettes. I nodded and took three breaths, my body still shaking.
I was a failure. There was nothing I could do right.
I could hear my mother's and father's voices ringing out in my ears.
"We wouldn't have this problem if she wasn't here!"
"All any of you want is my fuckking money. I swear, this isn't even my house anymore."
My breathing became irregular again until the bright lights of Layton's front entrance started to calm me, I was almost safe.
"Go," Luna said, pointing to the building. I raced up the stone steps, the wind whipping at my skin and beating it down with the hot drafts.
I turned around to thank Luna, remembering what she'd done for me, but she was already gone.
When I got to my room, I slammed the door shut and turned the lock, ripping open drawers until I opened the one with the cardboard box with my 'lifeline to sanity' in my vanity desk.
I opened one, my eyes on my reflection in the mirror, every flaw pronounced, and swallowed one...two...three. My hands grasped the edge of the table, my fingers white with the amount of pressure I was forcing. It had an almost placebo affect on me. I was instantly calmed. I looked up at the mirror again and every imperfection vanished. My skin was clear and porcelain, my lips red and full, my hair disheveled but the envy of every girl at Pemberley, my eyes were bright with mischief and my tall, delicate frame was on par with the once beautiful Elsie.
I was flawless. /Perfection/.
Throwing open the door to my mini fridge I gulped down a Smartwater and took my phone out from my bag.
I had 26 missed calls and 41 messages.
I texted Chanel telling her I'd already gone back to my room and then dropped my phone on the edge of my bed and opened the window, the drapes dancing in the Southern wind.
I grabbed my clothes went to take a shower, cleansing all the horror from my body, scraping any self-consciousness away from my glowing skin. The hot water turned my pale skin red to pink and when I stepped out of the shower, the whole incident was almost forgotten.
A menacing, bright smile already set out on my lips.
Rolling my long hair into a top knot and pulling on a large men's t-shirt over my underwear, I collapsed onto my feathered duvet.
I was Emmeline Morisette. Everyone wanted to be me.
My eyes flew open when the door to my room flew open from the bathroom door.
"You're such a bitchh." Chanel said playfully, walking inside with a robe on. I didn't even notice she had gone into the bathroom after me. Blocking out everything but my subconscious.
I smiled lightly, "Sorry, I was showering." Chanel shrugged.
"Can I borrow something to sleep in? My wardrobe is still being shipped in." I nodded and let her make her way to the rained glass covering my closet. She dug through the drawer set inside and pulled out my 'Karl Who?' shirt that she knew I loved. "Thanks." She smiled and walked out, I didn't bother telling her to leave it, it was obviously her way of payback.
"Mhm," I said, closing my eyes and leaving my shirt open to keep from heating up in the humidity.
She opened the door and put a foot outside before speaking.
"Hm?" I asked, sleepiness consuming me already.
"Don't waste your time with the likes of Luna Lace, its not worth it. No matter what a vigilante she might seem."
The 'click' that followed after literally sent shivers down my spine.
again my writing skills are poor since i haven't written an rp story in a while. i'm working on it though (= i promise <3