Created in the Polyvore iPhone app. http://www.polyvore.com/iPhoney
Tous Les Garcons by Francoise Hardy
It snowed today. Like a lot. No school. Good thing. I have a precalc test I'm not ready for, haha......
* DOUBLE STORIES*
~Saturday, February 1: Since all the students have been behaving (ha, "behaving") properly these past few weeks, some of VH's falculty is taking the students to the school-owned cabin in the mountains for the weekend. Pack warm clothes, it'll be cold and snowing.
* * *
"Are you excited for this trip, or what?" Rosie giggled, punching my arm. We were walking with Cece and Liliana on the way to the bus while Rosie and I shared my iPod. Death Cab for Cutie came on and I began hum along. Rosie smiled and turned it up as we boarded the bus. I waved goodbye to Rosie as I found Finny sitting toward the back. We made eye contact and I waved and walked over to join him.
"Do you want to take the middle seat? Kyle needed a place and his girlfriend ditched at the last moment," Finny said. He gave me his killer smile the way that he knew I wouldn't say no. I looked from Kyle to Finny and back and sighed, finally nodding. I took a seat between them, instantly regretting the decision. "Hey, babe," Finny said, kissing my cheek. I grinned, forgetting that Kyle was there for a moment, and looked out the window. The bus started moving and we travelled in silence for the first hour until Kyle, being the pain in the ass he was, disturbed the peace. Luckily, he'd gotten up and moved seats to go sit with this random girl, and he hadn't even bothered me the entire hour.
"I'm so glad we get to get off of campus for a while," I muttered, half asleep on Finny's shoulder.
"I know. We'll get some time alone. We'll be able to walk around the forrest, find a quiet place to be alone, and all, it'll be nice," Finny smiled.
"Yeah, it'll be lovely," I said. I hadn't eaten in three days so I could look lovely, which I promised myself I wouldn't do. I had been getting so much better. Finny and I had been eating so much more than the beginning of the treatment, but I had secretly stopped, even though I didn't say anything. I felt so bad, like a sober drug-addict who relapsed without telling their group. I'll start eating again after this trip, I promise.
* * *
"So, is it serious? Like, serious serious? Would you, you know...?" Rosie laughed, nudging me. I shrugged and pushed my hair out of my face. We had arrived a couple hours ago and the girls and I were kinda heart to hearting and it was actually pretty nice.
"I don't know. We both really like each other and it's just really nice right now. Just nice," I said kinda nervously. I was pretty uncomfortable sharing information about my private life. I kinda scooted around talking about my boyfriend and tried to change the subject. "So, how do you like the new girl, Kaden?" I asked.
"She's pretty nice, I guess," Liliana shrugged. Cece nodded and stared at her nails, expecting every millimeter precisely. I sighed and finished unpacking my things.
"Hey, Is, some guy is looking for you," Rosie said, standing at the doorway. I grinned and ran outside. "The woods," Rosie smiled pointing the a general direction. I thanked her and walked into the woods.
* * *
"You came," Finny said. He extended his hand that had a few wildflowers in it, which I gladly accepted. "I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow night, since it's our last night in the mountains," he said.
"It also marks a month of us kinda being a thing," I said, pushing my hair behind my ears.
"We should do something special," he said.
I walked over to him and put my arms around his neck and nodded. "Okay, we'll meet here tomorrow Nine, okay?" He nodded and I kissed him before skipping off.
"The s.lut returns!" The girls greeted me as I returned. We all laughed and I turned bright red before retiring to bed.
What happens in the mountains, I guess.
* * *
~Sunday, February 2: We're still in the mountains. Take the opportunity to wander around or stay in the cabin and drink hot cocoa by the fire. We'll be leaving tonight, so make the most of your free time (in more ways than one).
* * *
"Are you going to actually sleep with him?" Cece asked. She wasn't really paying much attention to our conversation, but it was one of the first times Cece and I had actually had a conversation.
"I think so. What do you think I should do?" I asked.
It felt kinda weird talking about this kinda stuff with other people, but it was natural, I figured.
"I don't know, go crazy," she giggled. I smiled and rolled my eyes before thanking her for the advice and leaving.
"I think you shouldn't meet Finn tonight. You'd be doing everyone a disservice by taking your purity and availability off the market," Kyle said, stopping me on my walk alone in the woods. I had taken it to clear my mind and give myself a pep talk before I met Finny in an hour in a half.
"Shut up." I tried to walk away before he grabbed my arm.
"Just kiss me one time before you go to see him and then you can decide if it's worth it," Kyle whispered.
"Do you, like, like me or something?"
"I like what I can't have," Kyle smirked. I groaned and walked off as fast as I could. I didn't mean to be crying when I went back into the cabin, but I was, and truthfully, I couldn't stop.
"God, are you okay, Issy?" Rosie asked. She put her arm around me and I sniffled and I just let everything out.
"You can't tell anyone, promise?" I said. I wiped my tears away and Rosie smiled and nodded.
"If it gets worse, you need to tell someone. Sexual harassment is something you can't let slide. It's just going to get worse," Rosie said. I smiled and was just really glad someone cared for once.
"You're the best," I said.
* * *
The clock stroked nine and I was late. I just look at myself in the full length mirror in the cabin until I decided I liked what I saw. I didn't really, but I figured it would get any better. I smiled and tried to make daring faces, but found myself looking silly. I skipped giving myself a prep talk and decided to just leave and go to the woods. I walked slowly through the woods on the trail and finally found Finny. "I'm so sorry I'm late," I apologized.
"It's okay, you're not that late," Finny said, enclosing me in a hug.
"Before we do this I think we should talk."
"This doesn't sound very good. Is everything okay?" He asked. We sat down on the blanket he'd set up and faced each other, like we did in our therapy sessions.
"So, it's about my eating. I just want you to know that I look especially thin today because I haven't eaten in a couple days. I'm sorry, I know I promised you I would but I wanted to look nice for today. Afterwards, we'll have dinner and I swear I'll eat almost all of it," I said quickly. I started to take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down because, even though it wasn't easy to say, the hardest part was still to come. "And Kyle is bothering me," I muttered.
"No no, it's okay. And I need you to speak up. What did you say about Kyle?" Finny asked. I sighed and took a deep breath. This was horrible because he and Kyle were good friends and I didn't want to ruin anything and I just felt so bad because maybe I could've done something to prevent everything.
"He's been saying things. Like suggestive things that make me uncomfortable and it's been going on for a couple weeks. I've tried to ignore him, but it's getting worse and I'm not sure I know what to do," I said. I sat there and I started crying. I was supposed to sleep with someone I so very much liked, even loved maybe, and I started crying. How attractive.
Finny looked at me, astounded. I didn't know if he even believed me, but I didn't think he needed to, I just needed him to know. "Okay. Well, I'll talk to him and we can work something out. I might murder him first, but I will talk to him," Finny said. "I'm so sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me. You can tell my anything," he said, wiping my tears. God, I was crying like a madman.
"I ruined our special night. I'm so sorry. This looks perfect and it was going to be so special because I pretty much love you and you are perfect. What is wrong with you? I haven't found it out. I'm such a mess and you have been nothing but fabulous and I feel so bad that I'm not as good as you." I had stopped crying, but I still felt heavy inside.
"It's okay. I'm not flawless but I don't want you to see that because I pretty much love you, too," Finny said. I smiled. It was like a dream. Nothing worked out like this. Maybe girls and boys said 'I love you' and it was perfect, but they probably didn't have the surrounding circumstances we did.
"Can we sleep together later? It's not really the right time, but we will soon, I swear," I said, kissing his cheek.
"Okay, I need to go punch Kyle, so I'll see you in the morning," he said.
"I love you," I called, waving as I left.
"Love you," he called back. I skipped back to the dorms giddy. All the girls in the cabin tried to talk about the night in the woods and may or may not have happened with Finny. And I decided, let them think what they want. I had gotten what I wanted off my chest and it was nice. The only thing that could make this better would be a) a hamburger and b) my sister to never find me ever again. Her call last month had been bothering me.
I couldn't tell anyone about her. No one. The worst part was, she kept calling and calling. But tonight was too good for me to even care.
* * *
this is so long. i'm tired.
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