time after time│eva cassidy version.
layout credit to whoever uses this type of layout, i thought i would give it a try and i feel like i have murdered it -.-
@elizabeth-kate and @chrissykinz - a trca story for you guys, enjoy =D
andi hart│the rose court apartments
august 28th, 2012.
“So, who is Abigail?” We had just walked into my apartment and I hadn’t even had a chance to put my bag down before the dreaded question came up. I ignored Luke for a minute, collecting my thoughts and figuring out how I could tell him about Abigail without him flipping out or going off the handle or marching around to Meredith’s house to kidnap his daughter. He was very likely to do all of the above.
“Who is Abigail?”
I sighed as he repeated his question. Knowing I had to answer this time, I dropped down onto the chair I was near and looked out the window, not feeling brave enough to look at him as I told him. I would lose my nerve if I did.
“Abigail is Meredith’s daughter.”
“So what has that got to do with you and with me?” I could hear the confusion in his voice and I sighed. I wasn’t helping the situation by beating around the bush.
“Before she was Meredith’s daughter, she was my daughter. Our daughter.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I felt like a weight was lifted. But I also felt sick. Sick at the thought of what Luke was going to ask, going to think, going to do.
“Luke?” I finally plucked up the courage to look at him and when I did, I found him sitting at my breakfast bar, head in his hands. “Luke?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was calm and collected and that scared me. I would rather he was shouting at me, yelling in my face than being calm. Calm was never a good thing in confrontations.
“You’d already left.”
“And you think that is a good enough reason?” He turned to look at me now, his eyes blazing. His voice had risen a few levels and I gulped. This was what I had been waiting for.
“You were gone and I was scared. I didn’t even tell my mother! I just upped and left for Boston. The only person who knows is Jules. I was so, so scared and I was on my own. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“So you gave her up? Without telling me, you gave my daughter away? Did you not think about me at all in any of this? How I would feel?”
“You weren’t here! I was on my own and I was thinking about my daughter’s welfare! I wanted her to have a good life and me living out of my car, working two jobs was not a good life!”
Luke sighed and turned away from me, before picking up a glass and smashing it at my wall. I flinched at the sound and turned away again. “How could you?”
His words were quiet and I could hear the desperation in them.
“It was hard and I cried, I cried as I handed her over but I managed to do it because I knew it was the best thing for her. I couldn’t have given her the life she deserved. No mother wants to lose their child but I had to be realistic and grown up.” I took a deep breath. “There is not a moment that goes by that I haven’t thought about her. About how she looks, how she acts. Whether she has your fiery temper or my big feet. I miss her like mad and I love her so much it hurts, but she is in the best place and that’s what keeps me from regretting my decision.”
“I wish I had known.” I shook my head, even though I knew he wasn’t looking at me.
“No you don’t. If you had, you wouldn’t have done any of the things you’ve done in the past 7 years. You would have been stuck back home with me and hated me for keeping you there. I couldn’t have handled that. I loved you too much to do that to you. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
We said nothing for a while. I didn’t push him, I knew he needed to get his head around everything and it was a lot to take in.
“What does she look like?” I smiled and rummaged through my bag t grab my purse. Opening it, I took the photo Meredith had given me and walked over to him, tentatively holding it out, unsure whether he was going to snatch it out of my hand or take it gently. He did the latter and I watched him smile as he took in Abigail’s face. She was so like him, although I knew he wouldn’t see that. Parents never did see if their child looked like themselves.
I smiled. “She is, we made something pretty special, don’t you think?”
His face changed suddenly and I realised I must have said something wrong. “So it’s ‘we’ now, is it? Now that I know, it’s ‘we’. Tell me, if I hadn’t have met Meredith today, would have ever told me about her.”
“Yes, I would have,” It was the truth. I knew I had to tell him eventually. I just hadn’t planned on when. “But I couldn’t tell you when. Maybe you showing up here was a good thing. If you had stayed away, it probably would have been a long time until I eventually told you.”
“Do you see her?” I shook ym head.
“No, I’ve stayed out of their way for a long time. I knew Abigail needed me to stay away. And I’m happy I did because she looks like such a happy little girl. It makes me believe I did the right thing when I sometimes feel like I didn’t.”
“I should have stuck around.” Seeing that he had calmed down, I took the seat next to him.
“No, you didn’t know so would you have stayed?”
“For you,” I smiled at that.
“You didn’t love me enough to stick around and I don’t blame you anymore. I just say that because it’s the easiest excuse I can give you when we argue.”
“You don’t have to be. I’m the sorry one, I should have you sooner. But at least everything is out in the open.”
“So when do we get to see her?” I stared at him a minute before I frowned.
“We don’t get to see her. She isn’t our daughter, she belong to Meredith and her husband.”
“But now I’m here we can all be together again.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “You think I didn’t get her back because you weren’t around? Don’t flatter yourself Luke. I could have raised her properly after I got on my feet but she isn’t my baby and I respected that. I gave her away to a loving family who know call her their own. And that is how it’s staying. She has a mom and dad already.”
“You think I am going to carry on with my life the same as always now I know I have a daughter?”
I stood up, angrily. “You will because I am telling you now, you go anywhere near her and I will call the police faster than you can hello.”
“F-ck you.” And with that, he stormed out of my apartment.
“F-ck, where is my phone.” Finding it in my bag, I phoned Jules.
“Jules, get on to the Chamberlain’s now and warn them that they need to get out of town for a couple of days, maybe a week or two or their world will get turned upside down.”
“I take it you told Luke?”
I rolled my eyes. “Now is not the time for ‘I told you so’ okay? I need them to know that Luke is on a mission to find them.”
“Okay, I will let them know and advise them what to do. In the meantime, you need to go and talk some sense in Luke before he ruins that child’s life.”
I nodded and hung up. There was only one person I knew who could have a chance of getting through to Luke but he didn’t know himself what was going on.
It was time to visit my dad and tell him he is a grandfather.
He should take that fairly well.