the heart is a lonely hunter│thievery corporation

[so no one should know that Jess and Landon's relationship is fake apart from the her best friends...to everyone else, they are a real couple!]

- tagging @elizabeth-kate because she is my number one fan and i love her and because i can :D

-if anyone wants to collab feel free to pm me and if you haven't already, comment whether you want your character to be friends, frenemies, enemies etc with jess.


jess van vuuren│crazy days + nights
july 21st, 2012


“You know these pictures aren’t exactly going to help your cause.” I had just walked into Landon’s apartment, where he was lounging in the living room, watching television. 

“And what pictures might those be?” He asked, not looking away from the screen, which currently had James Franco’s face on it.

“These.” I threw the magazine I had in my hand at him, on the right page. He gave them a once over before shrugging.

“I enjoyed it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Clearly. It was a photo shoot with half naked guys, what is not to like?” I sat down, removing my wedges as I made myself comfortable. “But seriously, you’re meant to be putting the media off the scent, which is why I’m here. These pictures aren’t going to help.”

Leaning over, I picked up the magazine and stared at the pictures. “Although these are hot and you look extremely delicious in them, something tells me blue y-fronts and wearing nothing else but a wet shirt, which is very see-through, is not going to make people think you’re not gay.”

Landon had told me pretty much straight away he was gay. And I had no issues with it because from day one I thought he was, plus the fact he hadn’t once looked at me like he found me attractive also gave it away. This ‘relationship’ was meant to put the media off thinking he was gay but he wasn’t helping himself at all.

“We’ll just ignore the questions like we always do then we will have an extremely public make out session in front of everyone and then we will be left alone for another week or too. I’m not worried.”

I sighed. “Fine, but if it doesn’t work, don’t blame me.”

“But if it doesn’t, it’s not just me who will look stupid for faking a relationship, is it?” He smirked and I glared at him. He was right. If everyone found out, it wouldn’t just be Landon who would be in a media frenzy, I would too. And not for the right reasons.

“Okay, you win. As if I was going to let you be found out anyway. I enjoy our relationship.”

“Well I’m glad one of us does.” He smirked at me and I threw a cushion at him.

“That’s mean. Oh, guess who I’m starring with in my next film?”

“Who?” 

“I said guess! I’ll give you a clue; he’s British and he’s hot!”

“Because that narrows it down.” I could see him rolling his eyes and I pouted.

“You’re meant to play along and humour me. You’re such a bad fake boyfriend.”

“I try.” He sighed then he looked at me properly. “Nicholas Hoult?”

I pulled a face. “No, I couldn’t get near him if I tried anyway, apparently Jennifer Lawrence goes to all his film sets. She wasn’t impressed when he had to film scenes with Teresa Palmer for Warm Bodies. I can just imagine the tension.”

I sighed dramatically before continuing. “Here’s another clue. In his next movie, he gets to wear a tight, muscle hugging blue and red costume.”

Landon eyes lit up and I knew he had his attention. “Henry Cavill?”

I nodded. “The one and only. I start working on the film within the next month or so.”

“That man is a god.”

“Oh, he most definitely is. Engaged, though. It’s a shame. Although that won’t stop the media from announcing to the world that I’m having an affair with him once the cameras start rolling. Cannot wait for that.” 

Standing up, I headed for the kitchen, hearing Landon shouting as I went. “I’m actually feeling jealous right now.” 

I popped my head around the wall so I could see him. “You have the perfect excuse to come visit me on set. I’ll even introduce you guys, if you want?” I grabbed a bottle of water and closed the fridge, walking back into the living room.

Landon noticed the bottle of water and rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, help yourself.” I pulled my tongue out at him to which he rolled his eyes again [they were seriously going to get stuck if he didn’t stop it.] before continuing to talk about Mr Cavill.
“So, you would introduce us, for real?”

I nodded and gave him a ‘duh’ look. “Of course, you’re my ‘boyfriend’,” I used air quotations around the word boyfriend “so therefore you would be on set sometimes so you are bound to meet him when you’re with me. Will this keep you from doing seriously questionable photo shoots?”

He nodded. “Most definitely.”

“Good, I must tell you though. He is as straight as they come, you have no chances of turning him.”

He shrugged. “Well everyone thought Matt Bomer was straight until he came out.”

I shook my head. “No, they didn’t and after seeing Magic Mike, it’s even more obvious that he is batting for the other side. And he’s in the running for Christian Grey? That film needs a man who actually likes having s.ex with women, like Ryan Gosling, or even a certain Mr Cavill. I will refuse to attend the premiere if Ian Somerhalder gets it.”

“They better do the book justice.” I nodded in agreement. 

“Anyway, enough about 50 Shades. I hear you had a casting for a movie yesterday?” He nodded. “How’d it go?”

He shrugged. “I think it went okay.”

“Okay? That’s it? They didn’t cast you on the spot?”

“No, they sent me away and told me they would be in touch.” 

I sighed. “You didn’t get it. Did you recognise anyone there?”

“Zac Efron turned up.” 

“They were clearly after a big name. That guy can’t act for sh.it. Have you seen Charlie St. Cloud? Awful.” I shook my head. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter, you’ll get a role. I hear there is a new Martin Scorsese film in production. See if Greg can get you a bit part. A bit part in the right movie can get you noticed seriously everywhere.”

“Really? I am seriously giving up hope of ever getting a job. This relationship was meant to help me.”

“Well if you came out more with me, you would get noticed. Even if it’s just for a walk or shopping. Publicity gets you noticed.”

“Fine,” He stood up and turned the television off. “We’re going for a walk.”

I laughed but put my wedges back on. “Okay then, we’re are we going?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” 

Walking up to him, I untucked his shirt from his pants before undoing a few buttons. “You need to stop dressing like Steve Carell at the beginning of Stupid Crazy Love and fast-forward to the part where Ryan Gosling helps him. You’re gay, you’re meant to have fashion sense.”

“That’s a stereotype that I think is unfair to the majority of gay guys who can’t dress for sh.it.”

Picking my bag up, I smiled at him. “Come on, we’re going shopping and I’m going to make you look like a lady-killer!”

“Can I not look like a guy-killer? I’d prefer to kill guys with my style.”

Rolling my eyes, I took his hand. “Come on.” 

And I dragged his guy killing ass out of the door.
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