Vesper || A Broken Mess, Just Scattered Pieces Of Who I Am - PART 2|| BitNRP

Okay, so this isn't meant to be super sad, but I found myself almost crying while I re-read it xD
It's not great, but eh. Lol.
This set wasn't supposed to be so dark originally but I think it'll be okay. haha
 
@vintagevampire19-dear-porcelain
If one of your characters says/does something out of character, let me know :3
 
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Song For Set: Pieces - Red
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A day you never want to live through is that of a funeral - especially the funeral of someone you loved more than anything. Specifically a parent, though I'm sure it's worse for a child. But I was only thinking of one person; my adopted but still so very much loved father Fendrel. His funeral had all been laid out for me, by him. It felt eerie when I read it after his death, but it was also so much easier than making all the choices myself. I knew he would have done everything if he could - though it seemed like he pretty much did. He'd made the arrangements at the funeral home near-by where his friend Rolph worked, he'd ordered the urn that would hold his remains - his body was much too mangled for a decent funeral - though his spirit would remain on our property at home, he'd even made the list of people he wanted there. The odd thing was, none of his work collegues or close friends were on the list. He'd explained that even though it was his death, he wanted me to feel as comfortable as possible, so he only invited my friends. The hardest part was calling everyone & the conversation surrounding the situation.
 
I stood in front of my full-length - though broken - mirror, staring at myself in the dress that Fendrel specifically asked for me to wear. A short, lavender, chiffon, scoop neck dress that I'd only wore once; to try it on when Fendrel bought it for me. I wasn't a fan of dresses much anymore & especially not pastel colors. There was a specific section in Fendrel's funeral plans that involved me, he wanted me to be comfortable, but he knew I'd probably show up in demin shorts & a tee shirt so he insisted on me looking as pretty as he saw me on the inside. He even included a picture from a day that he thought I looked my best. That meant the dress, my hair straightened but not flat & at least a little make-up. It sounds strange, but he liked when I would actually try to make myself look decent. But as things started to get... stressful, I stopped caring & gave up. But as I looked over myself in the mirror, I started to kind of see what he meant. The raggedy me who didn't shower or brush her hair was less-than appealing.
 
My make-up had already started running down my face & my eyes were as red & puffy as they could get. I wasn't sure exactly what was making me cry because I thought I was out of tears. I sniffled once, loudly, to try & compose myself enough to make an appearance at the funeral-like gathering going on in my living room. Thankfully I had a little help getting the place looking decent.
The door to my room creaked open & a head popped in, with careful eyes & a thoughtful look. "Vez, are you okay?" Nymie said with a frown. She walked up to me slowly, extending her hand to the space between us. I barely managed a nod & turned around. My eyes settled on hers, which were swimming with so many questions I was surprised she didn't pop. "Hold on, I know what you need." She said as she turned on the ball of her foot & slid back into the hallway. I let out a long drawn-out breath that was shaky & weak. In the next second, a streak of red hair came swooping into the room without a sound & an arm was around my shoulder. "Look, I know it's hard. Trust me, I /know/. But you have to move past all the thoughts that are forcing you to turn into a hermit crab & come out long enough to have fun. Just for a little bit. Okay?" Imogene's calming Sapphire eyes seemed to dig down to my soul & somehow force my tears to stop. The lump in my throat shrank noticibly & I nodded to her; she placed her hand on my shoulders & stood directly in front of me with a smile, handing me a tissue to clean off my KISS styled mascara.
 
I straightened as many wrinkles out of my dress as I could with my hands - I wasn't handy with any ironing skills & I didn't know any spells for the situation. With a deep breath, I stepped into the living room looking the least amount puffy as I could manage. The first person to see me was Xavier. His dark eyes gave me a look that I knew well, I'd gotten it from almost everyone I'd talked to in the past few weeks, well I got it from those people who knew what had happened. Xavier came up with both arms & threw them around me, picking me up in a tight hug. I hadn't really ever seen him hug anyone besides his girlfriend so it sort of shocked me. But he managed to squeeze a chuckle out of me that felt amazing. He sat me down gently & smiled. "I told you, things do get better. It just takes time." He brushed a hair off of my face, winking. "Thanks," I smiled partially, already feeling %100 better. A few people here & there would send me their condolences & some of them actually felt sincere.
 
Amelia found me huddling against the pantry door in my kitchen with a bottle of wine in my hand. "That isn't going to help forever." She said in a very friend-like way instead of the motherly, scolding way I expected. "Yeah, but it'll get me through this." I gestured to the living room. "We all understand what you're going through, most of us have gone through the same thing, but we've all also gotten through it eventually. You can't rely on anything but your self sustainablility to get you through things." She patted my upper arm, rubbing it with her thumb as a sort of comforting gesture. I sighed & sank down to the floor with the bottle still in my hand. "I just feel like everything I loved is gone. My whole world is shattered & I don't know if I can put it back together. I'm not trying to be so dramatic, but... I don't know, I just feel alone now. So many people keep telling me they're around if I need them, but nothing makes me feel better." I stared at a burn on the wall in front of me that I had made when I was younger. Fendrel barely raised his voice at me, just put the fire out & winked, then said "This is why you can't have your own wand yet, 9 is still a little too young." Then he patted my head & went into his office. That's what I missed. How he never cared if I messed up, I was always his perfect little girl.
 
I focused back into the present where Amelia was now crouching next to me in her beautiful blue dress & black boots, just waiting for me to speak again. "I'm sorry. I know I have all of you to come to, you're all the next closest thing to family that I have. I'm so grateful to have met you." I nodded. She smiled & stood back up, extending her hand to me, pulling me up off the kitchen floor. "Let's get back in there & tell them that then, okay? Maybe if you say it, it'll feel better." She stood behind me & with a light push, guided me back to the group of people I, so rudely, left to get wasted. Imogene & Nymie were at my sides when Amelia finally let go of my waist. They didn't speak but I knew they were comforting me in their own ways. I stopped & took each of their hands. "Thank you for being here, it means a lot to me." I choked out. They smiled & Nymie's arms wound around my waist. "You know I would never just leave you alone to deal with something like this. Neither would Imogene, or Xavier, or mom, or dad, or-" Imogene interrupted then. "We get it, Nym." I chuckled once more a little & my smile actually stayed longer this time. "I still really appreciate it. You're the only family I really have. Even though we're not related."
 
After everyone left, I could feel a sense of lightness take me over, like I was feeling something lift out of my body that had been weighing me down. I put away all the food & washed the dishes, all by hand to calm myself & the house didn't feel so empty with just me like before. Lizben came bounding up to me, now that no one was around - she was never a social cat - & she rubbed against my calves with a loud meow. I bent down to pick her up & something out the window caught my attention. I grabbed my wand & slowly walked to the door. Lizben jumped out of my arms & began purring at the window, sending a chill up my spine. The only people she acted like that around were me &... "Hello dear," the familiar voice came from below the balcony of my tree-home after I'd cracked the door open. I peaked over the railing & the silver figure of what used to be my father stood smiling up at me. He waved in the way that - though it sounds ridiculous - I was beginning to miss. "Fendrel," I awed, but I wasn't sure why since I knew he was going to be around. "Don't forget to lock the door." He smiled, then started to walk away, off into the field behind our house. "Where are you going?!" I shouted after him. "To watch after things, but I'll be back. I promise." The last word hung in the air until all that remained was a residual glow of what used to be. Things actually felt like what he promised in his letters, that nothing would change for good; that life would go on.
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So... there it is lol
 
-Juli <3