♥LOLITA PHENOMENON♥ http://www.polyvore.com/lolita_phenomenon/collection?id=2228636 it isn't just an 'idea'. it's based off an experience. and i truly appreciate anyone who reads it. (THIS IS HALF of the second chapter)
♥ Lolita Phenomenon ♥ Part Two.5 ♥
There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Stay away from /my/ fish!
I guess I’m annoyed (not jealous...totally not jealous) of those girls constantly posting on Eli’s wall. Seriously. Does it kill them to see me happy for once in my life? Just one day, girls. Just ONE.
I finally had a phone, but he used the “My phone doesn't work” excuse on me. He was obviously lying. I saw a desperate girl posting “You should hmu...” and she gave him her number. -_-
On the inside, I was dying. I wanted him to pay attention to me. And only me...
I never realized how desperate I sounded, even after all those statuses (lyrics). Most of them were quotes from Tumblr, or one of my favorite songs. God I was stupid.
He was ignoring me.
What did I do wrong this time? I frowned at my computer screen. It only took one message to get his attention. Oh how I regret that message...so so much.
Guess what? My -fake- boyfriend is leaving for Indiana and he’s breaking up with me. (Virtual) Sob sob sob.
I figured I had to come up with a plot twist to get his -online- attention. He cared about me though. Eli wasn't /that/ heartless. Only when I was a desperate little girl, that's when he ignored me.
I felt even more stupid once I followed along with that fake boyfriend lie. His fake name was Adam..and I needed a picture for fake proof to post, so I tracked the ‘cute guy’ tag on Tumblr and posted it. I fooled Eli...and everyone in my Friends list.
Maybe they won’t -ever- find out. I hope they don’t...That’d be so humiliating....and I’d have to live with that for the rest of my life. Oh God no...
Eli felt bad for me. That’s all I could ever get from him ~ pity. I wanted him to love me, as much as I did. Or maybe he could love me enough to the point where it became an obsession. I didn't want him to lie to me and tell me those cliche motivational phrases like “It’s okay”. Nothing is ever “okay”.
He’s never going to love me. He’s never going to love a little girl that’s five years younger than him and has to lie about her life for attention. He only pretends to love. He doesn't know what love is. Eli can’t love anyone if there isn't any physical contact involved. I’m not that girl...