SOUNDTRACK: never let me go - florence + the machine

hey guys! remember how i said i was going to post my one shots here? well, i finally remembered and thought i'd get uploading!

all my one shots are on my tumblr under the link 'one shots' - shocking, i know - and here's the link for this one. it has the most notes at the moment and had me being twitter famous for 15 minutes haha you guys should have seen it, everyone was crying about it and quoting lines from it and it was amazing, i can't even explain how lovely it made me feel :3

so this is called Weightless and it's a sad one for my good friend Lyndal :) 

i've warned you; it's sad ... 

Every headline read out the same story and every story hit me with a pang of sickness and guilt. Everything felt cold and odd. This wasn’t right. I sat on the side of the road down the street from the newsagency. My limbs didn’t feel a part of me. I felt like I was floating but I was as heavy as lead. I wasn’t going anywhere.

It didn’t seem real. Nothing seemed real. The grass behind me had to be fake; the people giving me strange looks were robots; the sun blazing above me was a large industrial light. I was being pranked. Ha. Good one.

“Very funny!” I yelled to no one in particular. My voice quivered ever so slightly and my eyes were glistening with tears. I tried to shake it off, convince myself that this was just a really bad, incredibly lifelike nightmare. He couldn’t be … gone.

I stood from the curb and began to walk. But to where? I had no clue where I was headed. I just had to walk and get the blood pumping through my veins again. I seemed to have seized up when I saw the countless newspaper headlines. My arms and legs were stiff and seemed unwillingly to carry me along the footpath. My expression was just as unmoving.

The only change in my facial expression was the shake of my bottom lip and chin every so often when I lost concentration. Stay calm –I kept telling myself. This wasn’t really happening so I didn’t need to be reacting. It was a joke, a prank done by the boys to freak me out. Yeah. They freaked me out good this time.

Without knowing where I was walking, I found myself walking up the steps to the apartment block where the boys lived. My heart pounded in my chest and I couldn’t understand why. I was just going to find them drinking tea and laughing, around the living room.

I unfortunately made myself believe the lie I had imagined.

Opening the door, I was hit with a solid wall of … silence. No laughter at all. I was a little confused but pushed that feeling to the back of my mind. I walked cautiously down the hallway and looked in the kitchen to find Harry and Lily embracing each other tightly.

I felt a pang of sickness rush through my entire being. Lily was sobbing uncontrollably into Harry’s shoulder, her arms looking unwilling to let go of him anytime soon. I sucked in a harsh breathe of air, my throat stinging and I swallowed hard.

I left them be and continued through the apartment to the living room. Everyone was here. Everyone except …

“Lyndal! Oh thank god you’re here,” Eloise came rushing over to me, her face completely covered with distress and immense sadness. She threw her arms around me and I was nearly knocked over backwards with the impact of her running into me.

My arms wrapped around her instinctively as she buried her head in my shoulder as I had seen Lily did with Harry. She shook uncontrollably in my arms and for a moment I thought to get her a dozen blankets. But deep down I knew she wasn’t shaking from the cold.

My hearing must have decided to stop working on my walk here because ever so slowly, I began to notice that the apartment wasn’t filled with silence. No. It was filled with weeping; uncontrollable, unstoppable, desperate crying.

I found it odd to find so many people collectively crying at the same time. I had no tears in my eyes, my body wasn’t shaking – I felt nothing. I was numb. Because I couldn’t believe it. This hadn’t actually happened. I actually didn’t believe it. My body and mind repelled any idea of what I had heard and read was true.

Noticing I was a little uncomfortable in the situation, Jena and Zayn saved me from a weeping Eloise and cradled her in between the two of them. I wanted to feel bad for her, I did but I … couldn’t. I physically couldn’t.

Niall was sitting on the lounge furthest from everyone. Seeing him made me want to throw up. Not because I didn’t like him or anything, but because to see Niall as upset as he was, made it all finally hit me.

My feet felt like hundred pound weights as I slowly dragged them along the carpet towards him. My view became tunnelled and my ears were muffled like I was suddenly thrust underwater. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding in my throat.

The blonde haired Irishman held his heavy head in his hands, his knees pulled up to his chest. He didn’t want to be seen crying. We had that in common. To be seen as upset in any way, to me, made me feel weak. But it took a lot out of you always trying to wear a happy face and to ignore the things that personally hit you incredibly hard.

This was the moment both our walls had crumbled down.

I grabbed one hand away from his face slowly and he looked up in what seemed like hope, which fell as soon as it arrived. I felt a strange stab of hurt go through me. His eyes, for that split second, had been filled with hope and happiness. I knew who he was expecting to find gripping his hand. I wished he had been holding mine too.

That’s when I broke down. I couldn’t make myself believe the lie I was making myself believe any longer. This was real; this was not pretend. He was gone; he was not here anymore. He wasn’t going to come through that door with Chinese take-out; he wasn’t going to call me up past midnight to remind me that he loved me; I would never hear his voice again.

“L-Lyndal, I’m … so sorry,” Niall whispered hoarsely into my ear as we held each other tightly on the lounge. His voice was coated with grief and it took all I had not to scream out in the complete unfairness of the situation.

“I-I’m sorry too,” I croaked as I continued to sob into his chest. The newspaper headlines echoed constantly throughout my mind and I willed them to go away, to leave me alone, but I knew it would be many months before I would have a nightmare free night’s sleep.

'….“One Direction’s Liam Payne Falls to his Death in Bungy Jumping Accident”

Boy band ‘One Direction’ was on their yearly holiday and had travelled to the other side of the world to New Zealand to experience new sights and adventures only to be struck with a tragedy nobody could have ever foreseen.

On the 20th of April, 2012, the well-known and trusted adventure seeking tourist company ‘ThrillSeeka’, took on the lads of One Direction and promised to show them another side to living. Little did anyone know that a miss check of a harness would lead to the biggest tragedy in music this century.

Liam Payne, 18, was to jump with band mate Louis Tomlinson, 20, at the same time but instead wanted to prove to his mates that he could go it alone and show the boys how it’s really done. A routine check of all harnesses took place but with the head supervisor distracted with the other boys, a work experience kid fixed Liam’s before the jump that lead to his death.

An all-out police investigation is underway as this article goes to print. The work experience kid is undergoing extensive interviews and interrogation towards the young boy band member’s death and at this very moment in time, will be facing court for possible murder …'


i hope i didn't make you cry too much!
i'd love to hear what you thought in the comments and as for Rumour Has It, i will be updating it, i'm not giving up or ditching it, everything is just very busy at the moment and i haven't had time to write solidly! 

love you guys

x alex

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