i sat in this position for a while. i couldn't possibly drive right now. i had a sharp pain in my stomach, i wasn't sure why i just stood up to my parents and told them how i feel. i just got a record deal, i should be happy right now why wasn't i? i hope once i have my own place to go and live this weight will be lifted. my sobbing had slowed down into tears occasionally rolling down my face. i could drive now. i put the car in reverse and backed off my drive way. once i was out of my neighbor hood i called gemma.
"hey i'm on my way"
"alright. i looked up a couple places by my house i wasn't sure what you wanted but i'll show you them when u get here"
"thanks love, have you asked harry if he wanted to come?"
"yea he said he would be here around the same time as you would."
"great thanks gem."
"see you soon"
shoot my car needed gas. i pulled into the nearest gas station. while i was filling my car up a girl around 13 walked up to me.
"hello" i said.
"hi. are you marianna?"
"yea i am."
"oh my gosh. i love you!"
"thanks hun. but -"
"your harry styles's girlfriend! you're an amazing singer i listen to your covers like 24/7!"
"could i take a picture with you?"
"sure! i'd love to!"
"thank you!" she pulled out her phone and i leaned down and took the picture.
"thanks! oh by the way , i love your outfit! i think you're soo pretty i'm so jealous!"
"oh no! you're beautiful!"
"no you are don't let anyone tell you different! ever! promise me?"
"yes. thank you"
"well i have to get going. i'm meeting harry."
"alright. have fun! oh wait one more question."
"i herd you got a record deal? when is your album out?"
"i did! and this friday i'm going to start working on some songs."
"oh my gosh! i can't wait! well goodbye!" she said while walking away.
i got in my car and drove away.
when i got to gemma's house harry was already there. he kissed my hello and gemma gave me a hug.
"so whats with the sudden erge to get a house?" she asked as she pulled up the links.
"i told my parents how i feel. well most of it"
"what did you say?" harry asked
"i told my dad he belonged in jail 'cause he's phsyco, and i told my mom she is losing it and that i was sick of their bogus. and left."
"oh wow. " harry said
"yeah. but i'm not even gunna focus on that. i had 2 amazing things happened to me today and soon a 3rd."
"what happened to you today?" gemma asked
"i planned the day to start writing my songs, and i had one of harrys fans approach me at the gas station."
"thats great!" gemma said.
" when do you start? and what did she say?"
"i start friday. and she told me she thought i was pretty and that she thought i was a great singer."
"i wish i was there to see it!" harry said
"trust me she did too! hahah"
2 hours later we had looked at many places and now we found one that i absolutely love! it's homely and pretty: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=58422719 it also had a pool which was a plus!
i was in my bathroom putting the final touches to my make-up when i got a call.
"hey babe!" harry said
"whats up love?"
"i wanted to wish you good luck!"
"harry you're gunna be there!"
"yessss but.... love you!"
and he hung up the phone. me and harry were still dating and my career was bombing. my album came out in january on new years eve. i already had 2 hit singles in england. and my album would be out in america by july! i had a concert tonight. and like i said when i first started, i want to stay real. and i think i'm doing that. i was doing a concert and after going to a hospital to visit my fans that are staying there. for my album i had music that i enjoy. tonight i was going all out because this was the kick off to my tour! i was going to be dressed funky and cute! i also had some theatrics added in there. i also found out i could dance!
i still live in the house i bought with harry and gemma. tonight after i visited i was having a house party. i invited harry and the rest of the boys, gemma, and a couple of my fans who won a contest. i couldn't wait to meet them! i loved meeting my fans they are so supportive! i still haven't told anyone , besides the peoplethat already knew, about my past abuse. i wasn't sure if i was ready to. but it felt so good to not have a bruise on my body. i did still have scars but that was just a reminder of where i have been and how lucky i am now.
------------------1 hour later ------------------------------
"alright your outfit for the first track is over there. get changed and come back over here so i can finish your hair." my make-up artist said. i got up from the chair and picked up my outfit. i found a little dressing room and got changed. i looked in the mirror and saw what i was wearing. i loved it! i walked out of the little room and back to my make-up artist. she decided to keep the make- up i already had on and just do my hair. when she finished i herd that there were 10 minutes till the show so while i was wondering i warmed up my vocal chords. i looked pretty funny but better safe than sorry. i walked to the rest of my out fits and here's what i would be wearing:
track 4: http://www.polyvore.com
track 5: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=58434576
track 6&7&8: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=58435298
track 9 :(cover of beautiful people - cher lloyd)
"IT'S TIME!" i herd someone yell. i rushed to the wings the butterflies set in. i took deep breaths. the light went black and someone grabbed my hand and led me to where i was supposed to stand. he had a flashlight so we could see the steps. for my first song i was on top of stairs. i was scared i would fall down them in these heels. when the song started i turned and walked down each step as i do this it lights up. by the third step i began singing. when i reached the end the spot light is on
me. i herd my fans screaming and adrinaline set in. i did great and at the end pose , after the music ended, i blew a kiss to everyone and ran off. while running to the dressing room i hopped and took of my shoes so i could run better. i grabbed my next outfit and ran into the dressing room. while i was changing i thought about harry him and niall where in the audience. i couldn't see them let alone anyone who wasn't in the first row. i finally got my out fit on ,except the shoes, and ran to hair and makeup. there was about three people surrounding me doing who knows what.
while im back stage the band does solo's and move the sets around. my hair and make-up crew finished in less than two minutes i swear! the're fast! i slipped my heels on and the man that led me to the stairs brought me to the stage again.
this time it was county-ish theme and my background dancers where cowboys and girls (girls wore red plaid crop tops and overal shorts. men wore plaid shirt with jeans and cow boy hats)
i started by just standing in the middle of the stage. the lights were dark again.
for all of the songs i had so much fun. finally it was the last one i wore a calm pretty dress and got to do basically whatever i wanted to do. i walked around the stage and touched fans hands. then the song was over and it went black. i went to the dressing room and put on the outfit i was wearing for track 2&3 because i forgot to bring my normal clothes. i took the pins out of my hair and let it fall naturally.i brushed my fingers through it a couple of times and left the room. i grabbed my purse and aske the security gaurd if he need to come with me to my car. he said yes. but on my way out fans were outside. he cleared a path and was letting me through.
"wait what time is it?"
"we have to be at the hospital at three. can i take some pictures for a little bit?"
"i guess thats ok."
only about 40 of them found the exit i was using. there were barriers being put up. he instructed them he would let everyone through the barriers one group at a time.
i took pictures and signed auto graphs talked to them. it was really nice! then one fan whispered something into my ear.
"i wanted to tell you what an impact your music makes on my life. it encourages me to stay strong. i got abused and when i herd your song back up, i called an annonomous number to help me."
the girl looked around 13. and reminded me of what happened to me. before i could say anything she said something.
"i know that song isn't really true but it really did help me thank you"
i didn't know if i should tell her that i wrote that song based off of what happened to me or if i should just not say anything at all.
"that made my day." i told her "thank you" i was holding back tears. " you are beautiful. don't let anyone tell you different. "
"thanks" she said, "i won't"
we took the picture and she gave me a hug and went back behind the barriers. after meeting them all i waved goodbye to them and blew them a kiss. when i got in the car i started crying. i decided i needed to tell my fans the truth. i decided to do it at the hospital when i was going to be preforming, there would be camera's there.
i arrived and asked where i was supposed to go.
i got to a caffateria type thing and someone walked up and introduced me to them.
"hello i'm jack im the one who has been in contact with you and set this up."
"hi! i'm marianna"
"how are you?" he asked shaking my hand.
"i'm great! i'm so excited to be here!"
"that great! can we have you over there" he pointed to a little stage, "just stand over there and the camera will set up, there is water bottles if you need any."
"alright thanks! and when should the kids be here?"
"after everything is set up we will bring in the ones that can"
"great i can't wait! i'll be doing the visiting time with them too right?"
"of course of course!"
"no problem get up there!" he urged
"alright" i walked over to the stage and climbed up the stairs. i found the water and grabbed one, i was so thirsty! i pulled out my phone and called harry. (i still had the phone case niall gave me this one i hadn't broken)
"marianna you did great!" harry answered.
"thanks babe it was so much fun!"
"you did great and i can't wait to see you!"
"me either harry i've got to tell you something."
"what is it?"
i gulped, "i'm going to tell"
"about my dad"
"Are you sure"
"what changed your mind?" i walked away from people so no one could hear me.
"a little girl today told me that one of my songs helped her with the same thing i went through. but she thought the song wasn't written as a true story."
"do you want me to be there when you do it" i didn't know if he even could come but i did want him there.
"i don't know if you can" i answered
"i don't care if i can or not. do you need me?"
"mmhmm" i answered.
"alright i'll be there."
"thanks i love you"
"love you too"
i hung up my phone and put it back into my purse. a man approached me with a microphone and told me i could use the stand or i didn't have to. i decided to use it. i felt to dressed up and i felt like i was way over dressed so i texted my stylest if she has my extra clothes. she did bring them. she brought up the bag with them in ti and i went to the bathroom to change into:http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=58440876
i came out and they were letting patients in. i came onto the stage i still didn't see harry. i was shaking and i didn't know how i was going to say it.
"excuse miss you start in 2" a random man told me
i drank some water and check my phone. no new messages. i was sitting on a stool off to the side and a man walked onto the stage and tested the mic
"hello i'm mike! and today we have a special guest
visiting! can everyone clap for marianna!"
shoot i was in the middle of sipping my water i quickly set it down and walked up to the mic.
"hi" i said into the mic, "how is everyone today?"
"good!" i herd come from my fair sized audience.
i smiled from ear to ear.
"that's great! i have a story who wants to hear it?"
i got people raising their hands and people saying "me!"
"alright so today was the kick off of my tour and after my concert i visted some fans. but onee girl stood out. because we had something in common." wheres harry? i look in the back quickly all i see is an older man a man with curly hair. i quickly scanned the crowd to see if he was in it. then i realized who the curly haired man was it was him! i finished my story it felt better knowing he was here, " the girl was abused..... so was i." i herd gasping. " that little girl inspired me to tell my story with my fans. i want to let you know that it does get better, so here's my story. i was abused by my father from the time i was 8 untill just last year when i had amazing friends that helped me out alot! i called an anonomous sourse and i moved out. i know if you're under aged you can't just move out but please do tell someone responsible so you can get help. i still have scars from him and i always will but i guess that is a daily reminder to stay strong." i was almost in tears now and i wanted to just hug everyone!
"so no matter what your situation is be responsible and know the you have to keep your head up and get you will get through it. now enough with my sob story i'm not here to tell you i don't want anyone to feel bad for me i wan't people to look at me and think wow if she can do it i can do it. so i have a song for you guys if you don't mind. so here it goes its called, back up."
i sang the song with more passion than i ever have and i was in tears. when it was over i wanted to lighten up the mood.
"who knows the song want U back by cher lloyd?"
almost everyoneraised there hand.
"i want to lighten up the mood. sing along if you know the words!" i looked at my band and they started the beat.
"uh! hey boy you never had much game so i needed to upgrade so i went and walked away. uh! now i seen you been hangin out with that other girl in town lookin like a pair of clowns, clowns,clowns ugh!" when i said clowns i made a funny face and the kids laughed witch made me laugh while i was singing. everyone joined in at this part, " remember all the things that you and i did first and now your doin them with her remember all the things you and i did first you got me got me like this! uh! and now you're taking her to every resaurant and every where we went. come on!and now your taking her to every resturaunt. you got me got me like this! uh! boy you can say anything you wanna i dont give shhh no one else can have ya" i walked down the stairs and let a little girl sing the next part,
"i was broken up thing you'd be cryin now i feel like " we both held up our index fingers. "shhh look in at you flying"
i gave her a high five and walked down a row to a boy that was around 11. we were at the ' now i feel like shh lookin at you flying. he sang: "now i feel like shh looking at you flying. i want you back.want you back wa want you want you back uh!"
"perfect i said while walking away i ran back up the steps and finished the song. i laughed at the end. and blew everyone kisses. harry ran up to the stage and grabbed my waist and lifted me down. when i was on the floor we kissed. it was a mix of eww's and aww's. i spent the rest of the afternoon at the hospital. after wards i tweeted a picture of me and all the patients and said: "what beautiful people! love you guys! ;) <3"
i went hope and got everything ready for the party about ten minutes later everyone was there and i realized this is where i belonged.
A/N well guys that was the last when i look at you :( thank you so much to @littleladybug i really enjoyed doing these!
@one-directi0n-anonss @arkham-asylum @am-faber @amazycrazyroses @anne-lionel @arianaagrande-anonymous @andreanicole-i @ansev @aaliyah @ani-montana-isgro @ashbonk @andrea-loves-1d-4eva12 @blueandpurple @bluepandagrrl @bridgetpayne @blaundos @cierra15 @christine12701 @carlitamenotti @coolbeanschic @dayz-1d-hs @eleven20120407 @ellestyles @eleanorjcalderxx @fashion-first-darling @fusco-styles-skyes-castronovo143 @fashiongirl13 @hehar @helleka @jaime-doyle-flanagan @junobeeblah @jennifer44lu @jessica-anchondo @justindrewbieberanon1 @kate-meyer @kitkat2 @lover-rose @lenaluvsyew @lizziharries @lenauniverse @lisssparks @littleladybug @luanac2012 @mgfenderson @mileyraycyrusanon @mofo-fashion @mousehouse98 @maggieloves1d @momoney143 @marthalux @mrs-vas-happenin-malik @newtobe @tigertoes
"i dont know if you can