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“Wanna come with me to the first annual barbeque we’re having?” I asked Adrian as we lay in bed. 
“who’s we?” he asked me. 
“Isabella Auburn University.” 
“sure. When is it?” 
“in an hour.” I smirked. 
He nodded and held me tighter and closed his eyes. “im still sleepy.”
“no, we cant. I want you to meet everyone, Adrian. stay awake.” 
I ran my fingers through his stubbly cheek. “Someone needs to shave.” I added as I unwrapped my body from his and walked to shower.
--
We finally made it to the barbeque only half an hour late. “You look horrible.” I teased as I touched his cheek again. “shaving only takes like 5 minutes, Adrian. my friends will think you’re a cave man.” 
“I read in Cosmopolitan magazine that 85% of women think the caveman look is sexy.” He chuckled, barely holding a straight face. 
“I am that 15%. Don’t make up stuff and expect me to believe it!” I said and let out a small yell when he tried rubbing his five o clock shadow on my face. 
“you guys are so weird!” Hannah said, sitting down next to me on the bench. 
“Hannah, what do you think of my beard?” Adrian asked her. 
“You barely have facial hair, why? Is January bothering you about it?” she asked. 
He nodded and we all laughed. Soon Anthony joined us and began bickering about how close Hannah and I were getting. 
“They got matching tattoos!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. 
“Anthony, what do you say you and I get matching tats on our asses?” Adrian asked him. 
We roared in laughter. “They’d love you in prison!” I added. 
I saw James from across the balcony talking to Jeremy and couldn’t help but feel my stomach twist in knots. “James. 1:00.” I whispered to Hannah who sat inches away from me. 
“damn. He looks good from here.” She said in my ear. I nudged her arm. “my stomach is having its own gymnastic olympics. Wtf!” i replied. 
“are you ok, wanna take a walk?” Hannah asked. She always knew what makes me feel better.
We excused ourself and walked away from the crowd. “whats wrong?” she asked me. 
“i just needed some fresh air.” I replied.
“Jan, we’re outside. Tell me whats wrong.” Hannah said, looking around the place. 
“you wont hate me?” I asked, raisiong my eyebrows.
“of course not.” 
“ok. I don’t think I can do this…” 
Hannah looked confused, she scrunched her face. “Do what?”
“be like this. I have feelings for two different guys.” I finally confessed. 
“what? January…you cant. Adrian is your boyfriend.” 
“I know that. I know he is. I cant help what I’m feeling.”
“let’s get outta here. I’ll go say bye to the guys…” I watched as Hannah marched over to her boyfriend, my boyfriend and Anthony. I looked down at my sidekick and felt the vibration of it. It was a text from Adrian. 
‘I love you.’ he wrote. I looked up at him and smiled. 
--
“talk to me, jan.” Hannah plopped down next to me at our living room. 
“I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused, Hannah. I love Adrian but there is something about James that I cant let go of. I cant just be friends with him.” 
“Whend you realize this?” Hannah wiped the tear that hit my cheek. 
“when james said he wanted to only be friends with me. I realized it made me kind of sad to let him go just like that, I was kind of..heartbroken…hannah. what do I do?” 
“you know what I think about each guy. I want you to be with who ever you choose. I support you 1000%, January. I just think that…Adrian doesn’t play games. He likes-loves you!” 
“James doesn’t play games.” I interrupted her.
“I see what you don’t see.” 
“he told me he was willing to wait for me forever, Hannah. Who says something like that? I like when I’m with him. I like seeing him. When we kissed in Montauk, I felt something for him but I refused to show that to him. That’s why he’s not letting it all go.”
Hannah buried her face in her hands. “what about Adrian?” she asked me. 
I wiped my tears and stood up pacing around the room like a maniac. 
“I don’t know what to think right now. I think I need a break from both guys…” I replied.
“why are you walking in circles, come back here, January.” 
I sat next to her and sniffed. “I’m going to have to tell Adrian I don’t want to be with him.”
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