Fix You - Coldplay
I'm falling apart.
There's this tight feeling in my chest, a lump in my throat, my eyes stinging. My hands are shaking like crazy. I want to cry, but I'm with my mom and I can't just say 'oh hey mom, my internet fiancé committed suicide and I'm an emotional wreck.'
Yeah, that wouldn't work.
I keep thinking back to when we first met, and Daniel as the Connor anon was falling for me and him and Gabby @th3-gr3at-p3rhaps and I were all talking in the comments on a set and we were all 'sexual, omfg, c;' and whenever I use those now I think of Daniel and almost start crying again.
I was doing better, I was.
But not anymore.
I'm on my period for the first time since, and he always used to bring me tampons and chocolate xc
I don't even know. I don't even know anymore.
Okay I'm gonna try to be happy and tell you happy things now.
So yesterday I went to target and I got new yoga pants (the ones up there, yes) and new socks and then I saw this sweatshirt thing in the mens stuff and I was like 'hey, it's blue, it's soft, it looks warm and I like oversized shirts. What the heck!!!' So I bought it. And it's very warm.
And I also got new Baby Lips, and some M&Ms.
So last night we had a big snow storm here in Iowa *coughcornstatecough* and it's snowed like eight inches and it's pretty cause I have woods behind my house and there's these short little bush trees right in front of the window but like back a little ways so I can see the tops of them and they're pretty cause they're all covered in snow.
OMFG I HAVE A STORY
so I put on my boots and my coat and bundled all up, and then I walked over to my neighbors house in the eight inches of snow, got there, took off my coat and boots and gloves and hat and shiit, and then I walked into the living room where her mom and stepdad were. So the stepdad then goes 'uhm, you need to leave.' And I just kinda looked at him, and then he says 'the girls have to clean. I'll send them over when their done.' And then he continues to sit around and do nothing.
Uhm uhm uhm
So my mom just looked up and me and goes 'hey, do you want to come with me to find sweatpants and stuff later?' And so I was all 'am I buying?' And she goes 'nah I'll buy'
So I guess I'm getting yoga pants and sweatshirts today!! cx
Mkay imma go make coffee now
I love you all cx