Collab with @elizabeth-kate. It's long so beware!
Also mentions @sarahstardom at the start.

"Del you can not be blowing me off for Liam again." I complained into the phone. I bet it wasn't even Liam she was ditching me for , I bet it was Sebastian. Sneak off to get laid , the nerve.

"Sorry Harp but i thought you'd busy studying or something." Del said "Anyway i have to go. Call Billie he might be free."

I scoffed Billie had a date with some wannabe hipster he meet at Starbucks. Looks like it was just me and my tv.

That's when i heard a banging at the door. Well i guess i was wrong. I sincerely hoped it was not my mother wanting another one of her 'bonding' sessions.

"Harper." I heard someone yelling from the door. Definitely not my mother. "Harper" the voice called again. I had a feeling i knew exactly who was at the door and i honestly hoped i was wrong.

"Hold on! Hold on." I said getting up and going to the door.

"Ivy?" I said confused , we had met a few times but i wouldn't exactly call us friends so her showing up at my door step seemed kinda random.

"Harper, hi" Ivy said brightly. i starred at her confused one i didn't know what she wanted and two was she always this chripy. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" I answered warily . From what i had been told if Ivy was going to ask something it would probably whether or not she could stay with me.

"I hear you'€™re studying psychology right?"€ Ivy said smiling and possibly batting her eyelashes, i'm not exactly sure

"€œThat I am." I nodded, I don't remember telling her that but there was no point lying about that. "€œGreat so you can help me."She said her smile growing bigger, " €œYou can be my friend Basil'€™s therapist then right. He defiantly needs help" she said. 

"Okay" I said slowly unsure of whether it was Ivy's friend Basil who need the help or Ivy herself. Â "Just a question shouldn't you take him to a real therapist? You know one who has finished studying?" 

 "I would but you see he doesn't come out of his apartment anymore." Ivy said with a dramatic sigh "He has turned into a hermit." she said before adding a very serious "I am worried." 

 I sighed, part of me was amused by Ivy's behaviour while at most were acquittance's i had heard all about her. She was kinda like Billie except for the fact she was in fact a she. 

 "He will snap soon Harper , do you really wanna be known as the woman who could have prevented him from going mad." she said shaking her disappointedly. 

 "I'll go check on him." I said with a sigh. It couldn't hurt to go at least visit Basil , plus if he really was losing it , it would be good practice for me. 

 "Oh good." Ivy said smiling. "Let's go." she said turning back towards what i assumed was where Basil lived , i followed her wondering exactly what i had gotten myself into.

"€œReally," Ivy conversationally turning to look at me , "The only thing he could do that would be more worrying was start listening to Justin Beiber."

"€œHe hasn't got that far yet?" € I asked with a joking frown,"I'm not sure if he really needs my expertise."

"No he really does"€ She nodded earnestly, falling back so that she was walking beside me, "€œLike he kicked me out last week," she said dramatically. 

 "€œOh well then " I said sarcastically , "€œHe must truly me on the edge of sanity." I was beginning to feel for this Basil.

"€œExactly."€ She nodded earnestly widening her eyes at me, "€œSo we better help him now before he goes batshit crazy."

"Your right, next thing you know he will be listening to One Direction." I said with a fake shudder , although my sister had started listening to them recently i am slowly beginning to question her sanity. 

 "I haven't even consider that." She said before frowning , "We should hurry." she said without a trace of sarcasm. 
"Have you ever meet Basil before?" she asked as she started walking a little faster. Stupid tall people and there long legs. "

"Nope. Or i might have but he hasn't left a lasting impression." I said with a shrug, if he was anything like Ivy i am sure i would have remembered him. "You would like him" she said happily "Well you know if he wasn't losing his mind."

"€œWould I now?"I asked genuinely curious. If i went by what Ivy had told me he was verging on mad socially awakard man who was allergic to sunlight.

 "€œSure you would." € She shrugged, as we climbed the stairs." Everyone likes puppies right?"

"€œWell most people do." € I said with a nod. "Actually that'€™s a bad analogy." Ivy said with a shrug. "€œThough I doubt you'€™re allergic to Basil."

 "I doubt i am to." I said, I had never been allergic to a person and i highly doubted Basil would be the first one. "So is there a reason Basil has decided to stay in his room all the time?" I asked curiously , maybe he just wanted to hide from his 'roomie'.

 "Oh exams." Ivy said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

 "So he isn't you know , trying to study?" I asked raising an eyebrow at her. "No , no... well maybe but the fact is he needs help." she said before turning towards a door and opening it. 

 "Which you can start doing now." she said motioning for me to go in. "Basil i bought some one to see you."

I looked around the room searching for the mysterious Basil only to find him laying on the floor with a book covering his face. Maybe he was crazy after all. "€œI thought you were going out till tonight Ivy."He groaned.

 "Get off the floor idiot." Ivy sighed, moving past me pulling him up the floor , I wasn't sure if that was a hard accomplishment because Basil looked pretty thing. "It's a good thing I wasn't out. I went to get you some help" She said once again smiling as she placed him on the couch and motioning me over. I stepped towards them tentatively, there was no backing out of this now. "€œHe won'€™t bite you I promise." Ivy smiled brightly at me grabbing my hand and pulling me over. Basil didn't move an inch , maybe he was in a sleep induced coma or that couch wasn't as comfy as it looked.

 "He looks tired not crazy". I whispered hesitantly , going with Ivy's early comparison of Basil to a puppy. I had a feeling that i should just let sleeping dogs lie. 

 "He is most defiantly crazy." Ivy said shaking her stubbornly, "He was lying on the floor!" She gasped dramatically.

"€œYou sleep on the floor sometimes"€ Basil'€™s voice floated up kind of muffled from where his face was pressed into the couch arm. 

"He. Is. Crazy." € Ivy said ignoring what he had just said and pointing towards him. "€œAlright, maybe he is."€ I said biting back a laugh. This was not how i imagined my day would be.

 "So fix him" She pouted crossing her arms over her chest. 

I frowned considering how i would actually 'help' him. "Uhm hello." I said poking him slightly. It would definitely be easier if he wasn't half dead on the couch. 

 "I don't need help." He whined "Whatever SHE told you is a lie." he said putting emphasis on the she causing Ivy to scoff. "Last time i try to be a good friend." She mumbled.

 "Look you, Basil." I said annoyed he could at least play along and to be fair sleeping on the floor isn't exactly normal.

 "Look you.... what's your name?" he said tilting his head slightly to look at me before shooting Ivy a confused look.

 "Harper. And all you have to do is talk to me. " I said looking around for some where to sit. The room was littered with text books , note books and random pieces of paper.

"€œYou could sit on him," Ivy offered cheerily noticing that was no where to sit. "€œOr we could take his books off the arm chair." Ivy added noticing me looking at her if she was mad. I was not going to sit on Basil. 

"My books don'€™t need to come off the chair because I'€™m not going to talk to her."€ He said petulantly. I was surprised about how opposite these two were. She was always cheerful and he was mumbling into a couch.

"Come on Basil, let the nice lady help you." Ivy attempted to coax him as i took the seat. He just made a weird growling noise "€œRemember a time when you would talk to me about appropriate human interaction?" Ivy said, trying to lift up his legs so she could sit down . When he didn't move them she just sat on them. I guess that work quicker.
 "€œWhen I'€™m doing better than you it means you need help."

"€œAre you even legally allowed to do this?" He grumbled, kicking Ivy off and sitting up though stretching his legs over the couch. 

 "€œI'€™m not legally not allowed" € I said quirking an eyebrow at him. Ivy placed herself on his lap, I am assuming she was too lazy to move them , if not there were definitely a few other issues that need to be discussed.


"That doesn't fill me with hope." Basil said glaring at me. "Oh shush, Wouldn't you rather have someone else who isn't Ivy hear your problems?"

 "Hey what's wrong with me hearing his problems?" she said pouting slightly. "I am trying to help here." I said with giving her a pointed look. 

 "I really don't need to talk , i am fine." Basil said looking at both us annoyed. "So you can back to whatever it is that you were doing before Harper." 

 "Basil come on. I could take you to a real therapist." Ivy said "Who by the way aren't that pretty so i think you should talk to the nice pretty lady." Ivy said with a smirk. 

 "Fine i will talk." Basil said , I grinned well that was easier . "If she leaves." he said nodding towards Ivy.

"€œWhat no!" Ivy pouted saying this a little louder than necessary. "Not fair."

€ "€œYou want me to talk to him."€ I shrugged, she wanted me to talk to him and apparently the only way it would happen is if she wasn't here.

 "No I wanted you to fix him"€ Ivy said childishly.Now i could see why they lived together, "So you wave your magic wand, do your mumbo jumbo and voila fix him."

 "I'€™m not his fairy godmother." I said dryly.

 €œ"No"€ She agreed with a solemn nod "€œI see no wings" Ivy added. € "€œCan I leave now?"€ Basil asked with a resigned sigh.

 "No. You'€™re not leaving."€ Ivy said pointedly , "€œWe're going to fix you."

 "€œI. Am. Not. Broken." Basil said slowly like he was talking to a child. "€œand you are doing nothing,"

€"Well that's your fault to be honest." I chimed earning a glare from Basil and a smile from Ivy "About time you remember what team your on."

 "You seem very withdrawn from people. Did you have problems getting along with kids growing up?" I asked Basil . "Or is it just girls?" I asked pondering out loud.

 "No no no. Just stop." Basil said waving his arm at me frantically. 

 "Out of everyone in this room right now i'm the only who is completely sane." Basil said dramatically. 

 "Then as a sane person you should have figured if you just talk to me and get it done you could go back to drooling all over your carpet." I said with an eye roll. Surprisingly i was feeling more sorry for Ivy now that i knew what she had to put up with.

Ivy cracked up at that leaning into Basil to hide her laughter , Basil just sighed and rubbed his eyes. Maybe if he slept in a bed instead of the floor he might not be tired.

 "€œI am talking to you."€ Basil said, "Right now in fact." he added. I was beginning to dislike him , seriously if he just played along Ivy would have left him alone but no.

 "This need you have to be sarcastic,"I asked seriously leaning forwards, "Does it stem from a childhood incident? Is it a way for you to keep people at arms length?" I asked now , I was just trying to pi.ss him off.

"It's to try and repel the idiots of this world." He said, looking like he was about to storm off. Mission accomplished.

 "€œYou do so well at that," Ivy cooed wrapping her arms around his neck, "€œYou also stay inside all day, so maybe that'€™s the route of your problems."

 "€œWhatever," he said rolling his eyes , reminding me off my younger sister. Maybe he was a 16 year old girl stuck in an awkward 20 something years old boys body.

"That's a very childish reply." I said once again earning a glare from Basil. "Your very pale by the way when was the last time you actually went outside?" I asked curiously. I heard from Ivy before but she seems to have of over exaggerating things.

 "I don't know. When i went out with Ivy." He shrugged "Staying indoors doesn't make me insane by the way before you even start."

 "Maybe you are having problems focusing for your exam because of a lack of vitamin d but i guess you would know more about that right?" I asked looking over at him. "Since your studying to be a doctor right? Seems like i'm not the only one who wants to fix people."

 "No you just wanna piss people off." Basil commented which caused Ivy to giggle.

"€œYou did this just for your own sick amusement didn't you," Basil said glaring at Ivy who was still giggling away.

 "No, no."€ Ivy squealed, trying to get away from him. I watched on bemused i was trying to figure out what their relationship actually was. "€œI just want you to stop being mopey" She pouted at him. They both pouted a lot.

"€œYou just hate having to be quiet and entertain yourself" Basil pointed out with a sigh. Ivy just shrugged.

"€œPerhaps I shouldn't be trying to help Basil," I said to them earning a glare from Ivy and victorious smirk from Basil, "€œMaybe you two need couples counselling instead." I offered. 

"€œNow wait a minute here,"Basil all but growled and Ivy leant over the couch grabbing a cushion , i imagine to throw at me. So they aren't in a romantic relationship or they are denial over it.

"I meant since you live together." I said confused "But i mean are you two..." I said looking between the pair curiously. Also taking note on how many cushions Ivy was able to grab.

"Nooooo." Basil almost yelled.
 
"Can you not see him." Ivy asked at the same gesturing towards Basil. 

They definitely didn't like being called a couple. 

“I can see him.” I said blinking slightly owlish at Ivy.

“Well than you should have better faith in my tastes.”She said rolling her eyes “Really I’m hot. And not at all that desperate.”
 
“Hey,” Basil protested.
 
“You reacted the same way as me baby,” Ivy huffed digging her heels into Basil. That's gotta hurt.

"Why would i want to date her , Honestly Harvey." Basil said shaking his head furiously , i scoffed he said my name wrong on purpose.

 "What is that supposed to mean!" Ivy said flicking him across the head. Basil was lucky she didn't have a pillow on her.

 "It's Harper." I added in warily. I had a feeling this would be a good time to get up and leave yet somehow i couldn't make myself go. I kinda wanted to see this all the way through now. 

 "It mean's i wouldn't want to date you. I'm not that desperate." Basil said , I shook my head. He really should have just stopped there. 

 "Uh huh when was the last time you actually had a date?" Ivy said glaring at Basil.

“A couple of weeks ago.” He said defiantly. I found that hard to believe he looked like hadn't bathed for over a week.
 
“Bullshit!” She snapped, “You haven’t left the house in a couple of weeks unless I had to bodily drag you.”
 
“I just haven’t left the house with you,”
 
“You are full of crap you know.” She huffed getting up off his lap making sure to bang him in the head and arms and chest with her elbows and arms. I am pretty sure Basil was going to bruise.
 
“See Harper,” She said bringing me back into the conversation. Da.mn it , this was just getting good. “See what crap I have to put up with?” she flung her arm out melodramatically, “See how crazy he really is?” 

"Basil do you have an imaginary girlfriend?" I asked deciding that it would be safer for my health to side with Ivy. 

 "No unfortunately i have a far too real Ivy." he said rubbing his head slightly. "Did you not just see that? the girl suffers from rage black outs. She should get checked not me." 

 "How am i the bad guy here? All i want do to is help my friend get of the house is that so bad Harper? Is it?" Ivy said dramatically.

“Well no…” I answered though i am not sure if she actually heard me. Basil decided that it would be a good time to scoff loudly.
 
“Oi, shut up you.” Ivy wagged her finger at him, her eyes narrowed. Maybe she would poke his eyes this time.“I have half a mind to burn all your text books, so don’t test me.” That would work.
 
“Violent tendencies.” Basil stage whispered at me.
 
“You suck.” Ivy whined, stamping her foot on the ground, “See if I ever try to help you again,” she huffed gathering a pile of books in her hands, i wondered if she was actually about burn them. No apparently she dumped in a room. I am guessing it was her room.

“What was that meant to do?” Basil asked with an amused smirk, “That’s my spare room whatever.”
 
“It’s the principal.” Ivy stuck my tongue out at Basil before turning to me, “Clearly Basil wants to become a crazy cat lady. We should leave him to do that in peace.”
 
 "Wouldn't i be a crazy cat man." Basil pointed out.I opened my mouth to comment but Ivy beat me to it with a "Shut up Basil."

 "Maybe you should have a set time where you go out for an hour. Whether it's to a park or on a date..... whatever it is you do." I suggested to Basil with a frown , I really couldn't imagine him on a date. From what i had seen the main issue was Basil not doing anything. 

 "Okay Harper i need to study which is very hard when i have Ivy complaining about being bored and bring stray psychology students into my house." Basil complained. 

 "I'm not a stray she singled me out and she is trying to look out for you in i admit an unconventional way but atleast she isnt letting you become a crazy cat lady." I scolding him. If he was going act like a child i would treat him like one. "And yes i said lady because i haven't seen any proof of you acting like a man."

Basil sort of stared at me in shock, I guess he didn't get told of often , Well by people who aren't Ivy considering she was his only friend. “You don’t even know me.” He exclaimed, though not really with an conviction. 
 
“Exactly.”Ivy told him softly but slightly smugly, “But she’s already pegged you.”
 
“Fine, if I agree to leave the house every couple of days,” he said , “Will you agree to leave me to study when I’m home.”he said,comprise i thought until i looked at Ivy's face. I guess not. “You couldn’t do it. Could you?”
 
“How about this.” I cut in, standing up now, “You set aside time to go out and Ivy can set aside time to leave you alone. How’s that.” I said mediating the two of them. I really just wanted to go now.

“I can do that.” Ivy nodded earnestly.
 
“Fine,” Basil sighed eyes moving between us“Can I go back to studying now?”
 
“If you want to be boring.” Ivy said
 
“I do thank you.” He said, picking up some random text book and opening it, before looking up at Ivy, “Can I have my other books back.” She huffed at that but obligingly went to get them for him before turning to me.

“So let’s leave grumpy bum here then.” Ivy sighed , I nodded in agreement. I was pretty sure if Basil wasn't insane before he would be now and i had a feeling i might be second on his kill list right now. So i wanted to get away as quick as possible.
 
“So what now?” I asked Ivy as she shut the door behind her.
 
“Well,” She said with a wicked smile, “We could go offer couples counselling in the park. Like a lemonade stand but for counselling.”
 
“Maybe you really are the one that needs counselling.” I said rolling my eyes at the idea but i had nothing else to do and Ivy was actually kinda fun to hang out with. Plus it would be interesting to see try and help couples out.
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