// burst-of-color.tumblr.com

~Itchin' On A Photograph, GROUPLOVE 

OKAY. LISTEN UP. ATTENTION PLEASE.

Ugh. I really do hate my brain sometimes. Gahhhhhhhh ughhhhhhh asdfhjgmklsngsoiw. After having cried for a good half-hour about this, I have made the decision (gah! scary! decisions! the horror!) to "pause" my story on Figment. http://figment.com/books/501093-Ara-Status-Paused-
 
(Paused, meaning taking a break and starting anew! I erased/deleted the whole story, all eight chapters, even from my Word Doc), I've done this before so many times. You must all think I'm a jerk and inconsistent and really immature and dumb and stupid and you are all absolutely right! Hooray! Ugh. I just can't do this, not right now. Maybe in a couple of months, I'll be able to post something online for you all to read but not right now. I'm not even a sensitive person and my stupid writing is making so depressed and stressed and ughhhhhhh. I can't take it anymore. I'm really just saving your time, so you can thank me. I need to figure out my life and my brain (stupid! retarded! weird!) before I can share a story on Figment. 

This doesn't mean I don't like writing (quite the contrary, it's my life), or that I don't have the patience or strong will or something to write a story and stick with it. My problem is that I need to find a story that speaks to me and that I want to write about. And I want to tell it nicely, with writing style and skills and whatnot. I really am rambling and all over the place, but guess what, that's why writing stories doesn't work for me. I'm too all over the place. 

I love writing and I love the feedback you all have given and the support and everything--it's really been too amazing! I just feel like I'm a newborn deer that can barely stand but is trying to run. I can't run yet. Not even walk. Not even crawl! Ugh!!!!! I need to figure out how to stand. Figuratively speaking, of course. 

So thank you for being your awesome selves. I'll be back soon in a while with a story worth telling and worth reading. This is a very humbling decision (oh! the horror!) I've made and I realize it had to be made. I'm not leaving Polyvore, so don't worry about that, but just taking a break from writing publicly. Thank you thank you, a million and trillion and one thank yous! Every day, you inspire me and I hope you never will stop. Thanks for everything! Most importantly, thanks for putting up with my insane ramblings.

Best Wishes,
John Green 

[hahahaha!!!! fooled ya!!! and all this time you thought I was a 16 year old girl....]
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