ll How To Love- Lil Wayne (I prefer the Demi Lovato cover, but hey, whatever floats your boat.) ll
"Hey," Everett says the second I answer my phone, which had been ringing off the hook. It had been going off for the past few minutes, the past few minutes I had tried sleeping, a long day had passed, one filled with school supplies shopping and mentally preparing myself for the bits of torture that were set dead ahead, unable to steer clear of them.
Those tortuous things including the upcoming school year, as well as dealing with my feelings, once again. Those were always so tortuous. I was surprised I hadn't figured a way around them by now.
"Yeah?" I answer, somewhat coldly, crankily because I was tired. I wanted to sleep, I wanted to forget things, I wanted just one second where I could be without Everett, or Drew, or anyone even, on my own personal island, perhaps.
"Come over. We have to talk."
No good-bye, just an abrupt ending to a phone call that seemed, well… bad. Bad news was head. I could feel it.
But instead of feeling scared… I felt excited, oddly enough.
I don't put much effort into how I look, slipping on the only things in my closet that were clean, a swipe of mascara and a simple brush of my blonde waves and I was out the door, anticipating whatever Everett had to say. Because even though I had a feeling it was something most girlfriends would consider "bad", I knew that I'd think it was anything but.
Everett greets me curtly and somewhat icily at the door, "Hey, babe," I smile, turning up my personality from it's previous, tired and cranky motive, into a cheery shift. "So," I say as suave as possible, sitting on the couch beside him and facing him seriously, "What was it you wanted to talk about?"
"We just needed to talk…" He trails off, but I notice how well he keeps his distance from me. He's not his usual self, which usually was clinging all over the place, kissing and touching me to my discontent.
"Well, what about?" I tilt my head to the side.
Oh God, was he going to break up with me? Was this finally going to be the day? Would I finally be out of the he.ll I was living in? I could feel my insides bubbling up, like champagne, the bubbles rising and rising, so much excitement, even a dosage of happiness injected in my veins.
… Or did he find about me kissing Drew? Maybe that was the reason for getting dumped? Either way, I could not care less. I just wanted to be done and over with him. To be free of him.
Well, I would never be entirely free. I'd see him at school, around town, and of course whenever I hung out with Drew, but to be broken out of the cage that was our relationship… I would at least be free in that sense.
"Ruby… did you kiss Drew?" He raises his eyebrows, staring at me with a concerned expression on his face. So Drew must've had it figure out. He had to. But why did he have to tell Everett? Why, why, why?
"What? Why would you ask that?" I answer his question, instead with another question. But he stays silent and so I sigh. "Well… yeah, but it was an accident. You guys are twins, after all." I argue, as if that's going to make it all better. Not that I want it to get better by any means.
"Are you sure it wasn't on purpose, Ruby?" He raises hi eyebrows even higher, a worried and pained expression on his face. "Look, I know for a fact that you can tell the two of us apart. You know Drew too well… did you do it on purpose? Or did you /really/ think it was me? Just be honest with me, please, save me the trouble."
I shrug my shoulders, passing it off as nonchalant, "I thought it was you, okay? I'm sorry. I just…" I shrug once again, "Wasn't sure."
"You weren't sure?" He tilts his head, a hint of anger running through his voice. "You weren't sure so instead of asking, like a normal person, you /kiss/ him?!"
I roll my eyes, "Come on, Everett, it was /just/ a kiss, it meant nothing. God forbid!"
"God forbid? God forbid my girlfriend cheats on me with my own twin brother?"
"It was one kiss! ONE kiss! Can you just let this go?" Now my voice is angry. I don't know what I'm getting at, why I'm fighting back. I shouldn't be, but it's just a natural instinct. I wasn't going to let him just yell at me like that.
He sighs, looking down and away from me, running a hand through his hair. "Are you positive, Ruby?"
"Positive about what? That it was one kiss? Of course it was just a peck! NOTHING else happened…" I trail off. Well, nothing else happened that night a few days ago, while I'm together with him… but a year ago certainly more than a kiss happened, not that I'd tell him about that now.
"I mean," He sighs once again. Is this really that hard for him? "that it was just an accident? I know that you and Drew have been close for years… I'm just making sure that deep down… deep down… you don't have feelings for him."
If only he knew that my feelings for Drew weren't buried deep down anymore. They were making their way up, more and more each day. Nobody else could see them… or at least I thought so anyway, but they were there… present for me everyday, all the time. It wouldn't be long before they took over… before they got the best of me… exactly as they had the other day.
"Everett!" I laugh, like it's all one big joke. "No way! Drew's like a brother, no way, of course no. You're the only twin I have feelings for."
Lies. Lies. Lies.
"Are you sure? Promise?"
I kiss him on the lips, another blank ones, no sparks, no fireworks, no eternal feelings of happiness or love, "Promise… promise."
So my secret was beginning to unravel. Everything was going to tumble down around me. It wouldn't be long before everything did. Everything that's hidden would always come out, to the surface. And those feelings, my feelings, were absolutely no exception.
No exception at all.
Just my luck.
"Wait… how did you even find out?" I raise an eyebrow, the question I had not gotten an answer for.
"I came home after you were gone and Drew was just… different… he had this weird smirk on his face, this goofy look. I knew something weird went on."
Great… so even Everett's twin telepathy was coming to bite me in the as.s.
After driving home on autopilot, taking the designated turns and stops at streetlights and stop signs, I arrive back at home, kicking off my shoes and throwing my bag to the dresser and just slipping under the covers, still fully clothed, ready to sleep after such a long day, the sky growing darker and darker every time I blinked, until finally, the darkness surrounded me.